Big Ass Spider! is a feast of junk food for the eyes and canned chicken soup for the movie soul.

“American Hustle”, “Captain Phillips”, “The Wolf Of Wall Street”, “Dallas Buyers Club”; I’ve watched many fine movies recently. Important, critically acclaimed, superbly acted and stylishly directed movies. I’ve been dining on the cinematic equivalent of chateaubriand in Béarnaise sauce. The trouble is, no matter how succulent that steak may be, sometimes you just really, really want a big ol’ greasy burger covered in Kraft cheese slices with a side of fries and a milkshake so thick it defies gravity. Thank heavens then for “Big Ass Spider!” – a veritable feast of junk food for the eyes and canned chicken soup for the movie soul.

Not just a movie in need of a clarifying hyphen (is it a Big-Ass Spider!, or a Big Ass-Spider! – which I imagine would be a very different movie), it’s a joyously dumb, happy, B-movie creature feature that cares not for the loftier ambitions of the art form and sets out to deliver schlocky jumps and rambunctious action by the corny bucket load.

Heading up the cast is the amiable Greg Grunberg (of “Heroes” fame) as local exterminator Alex Mathis who ends up in a local hospital for a (non-ass related) spider bite just as said hospital is locked down by a bombastic Army Major and his (conveniently smoking hot) adjutant Lieutenant Brant. There’s some cursory exposition about an alien DNA hybrid spider which can apparently grow exponentially in size very quickly and then the film just gets on with what it promises: improbable arachnid anarchy in sunny Los Angeles.

B-movie stalwart Ray Wise plays Major Braxton Tanner with all the shiny-toothed twinkly bluster he can muster while Lombardo Boyar is good value as Mathis’ Mexican security guard sidekick Jose and Claire Kramer (Glory from “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”) is just the right kind of frosty as Lt Karly Brant before she warms to our lovable hero. There’s even a brief cameo from legendary Troma co-founder Lloyd Kaufman if you keep your eyes peeled.

The special effects are decent enough, certainly the equal of SyFy’s recent output but the whole things just so good-naturedly goofy that despite its terrible plot holes, flawed science and occasionally ropey dialogue, it kind of just works.

Not something you’d want to have to live on, but as an occasional guilty pleasure, there’s enough here to sink your teeth into.