Michael Bay throws everything at the screen to see what sticks in this rock ’em – sock ’em robot sequel.

Who knew the Decepticons secretly served some Tutankhamen-looking spider robot who was hiding up in space? That’s the whacky premise at the heart of Michael Bay’s ‘throw everything at the screen and see what sticks’ rock ’em-sock’em robot sequel “Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen”.

Lifting some bits and pieces from previous “Transformers” stories (although not to the shameless levels writers Orci and Kurtzman did for JJ Abram’s “Star Trek Into Darkness”) we get some guff about ancient Cybertronian visits to Earth, and the (temporary) death of Optimus Prime. The writers also find a reason to keep Shia Labeouf’s Sam Witwicky around, although his girlfriend and especially his parents’ returns strain both credibility and patience.

“Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen” is weirdly convoluted and lumbered with tedious, unending scenes of fighting and hiding throughout the Egyptian desert in a finale that feels anything but final. I’ve always had a soft spot for the character of Jetfire and I quite like the way he’s incorporated into the story here but generally, it’s a step down in quality from the already pretty low bar of the first movie.

Also, if Decepticons can now disguise themselves as completely convincing human beings, why bother with all the scuttling spy robots at all?