The survivors of Final Destination 5 should envy the dead

Always at the more tongue-in-cheek end of the horror scale, the previous four instalments of the Final Destination franchise have been gruesomely lightweight shock fests, full of invention and sly dark comedy although they haven’t been immune to the law of diminishing returns, a law which comes into full force for Final Destination 5.

This time around, the precognitive vision which kicks all the action off is a bridge collapse during a corporate outing. The vision (have they ever explained where these visions come from? Who is trying to thwart Death’s plan?) allows Sam (Nicholas D’Agosto) to save himself and several of his colleagues from a gory and painful demise. Before long, however, Death comes a-calling and one by one the survivors meet their end. This time, though, there’s a wrinkle: if you take someone else’s life, you can “steal” their remaining years for yourself.

Despite the interesting add-on of the ‘swapsies’ element, Final Destination 5 feels lifeless and disinterested, going through the motions with lacklustre death scene after lacklustre death scene. The film itself even looks dull and grey to the extent that the digital blood spatter can’t even summon up a vibrant bright crimson to lift the gloom. The cast is the blandest the series has put together so far and even the wildcard casting of David Koechner (Anchorman) can’t inject life into this and a last-minute twist which literally brings the franchise full circle simply underlines how far this series has fallen.

For a series where Death itself can put together ludicrously convoluted chain reactions that would make Rube Goldberg green with envy but for some reason can’t just reach out and, say, burst a blood vessel or shoot a guy, the kills beyond the admittedly impressive collapsing bridge opener are lazy and repetitive. It’s time for Death to swing his scythe one final time and put this franchise out of our misery.

And yet, frustratingly, it didn’t have to be this way. The much-maligned 3D gimmick, which sank The Final Destination under a barrage of flying debris and eye-jabbing nonsense, is actually used here with a touch more restraint and effectiveness – still gimmicky, but at least in service of the film rather than in place of it. Even the much-maligned 3D gimmick, which sank The Final Destination under a barrage of flying debris and eye-jabbing nonsense, is used here with a touch more restraint and effectiveness. The opening bridge collapse is genuinely impressive – tightly edited, clearly staged, and executed with just enough restraint to feel real before the chaos kicks in. It’s the best set-piece since the freeway pile-up in Final Destination 2 and suggests, briefly, that the series might have found a second wind. But instead of following that momentum, the film slumps straight back into formula and flatness.

The new wrinkle – that one life taken can offset the debt owed – could have added a much-needed moral dimension, a real escalation of stakes. Instead, it peters out without consequence or conviction. Worse still, the return of Tony Todd as Bludworth is completely wasted. He shows up to ominously hint at the new rules, only to vanish again, never expanded upon or explained. It’s a cruel tease for longtime fans hoping for closure to his character’s story.

By the time the full-circle twist drops, linking the events of this film directly to the original Final Destination, it plays less like a clever rug-pull and more like a desperate plea for relevance. It recontextualises everything, yes, but it doesn’t redeem anything. Instead, it serves as a reminder of how sharp and focused this franchise once was – and how this entry just isn’t.

If this really had been the final destination, it might have passed muster as a mildly clever closing loop. But as a film in its own right, it’s a tired, bloodless rerun that confuses continuity with closure and creativity with convolution.