I, for one, welcome our new elf overlords.

For a 23 minute thinly veiled cash grab advertising an expensive auxiliary Christmas disciplinary deterrent ruthlessly marketed as an adorable Christmas tradition that also subtly indoctrinates the youth of today to be comfortable living within an overt surveillance state, Elf On The Shelf: An Elf’s Story actually isn’t all that bad.

The cheap and cheerful computer animation is decent enough and the voice cast bring the characters likeably to life. Of course, the whole ‘movie’ exists to promote and reinforce the rules for the Elf On The Shelf: never expose them to bright light, never get them wet and never, ever feed them after midnight. Oh – wait, no that’s the wrong rules. Basically, be good, do as you’re told and never, ever touch the elf otherwise you might steal his magic and he won’t be able to get back to The North Pole.

The film, complete with peppy songs including such catchy numbers as ‘Extravaganzalorious’, tells the story of newly qualified elves setting out on their first assignments. Our hero, Chippie, is assigned to a family where the oldest child is starting to not believe in Santa. Through a series of misadventures, a bit of guilt and a few too many songs about ‘forgiveness’ for comfort, everything works out in the end and the children agree to submit to Santa’s omniscient oversight in return for meeting their moderate Christmas requests.

If you’re already playing host to an Elf on the Shelf of your very own, this twee festive fable won’t teach you anything you don’t already know but if you’re contemplating inviting a North Pole Narc to surveil your family, there’s stuff here that will delight and possibly disturb in equal measure.

elf on the shelf review
score 5/10


Hi there! If you enjoyed this post, why not sign up to get new posts sent straight to your inbox?

Sign up to receive a weekly digest of The Craggus' latest posts.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.

logo

Related posts

Treehouse Of Horror XXV

Treehouse Of Horror XXV

Treehouse Of Horror XXV sees the Simpsons Halloween Special in celebratory and self-congratulatory mood. The titles are announced over a gallery of clips from previous (and as yet unaired Halloween scenes) while a galaxy of announced celebrity guest stars are dismembered to spell out...

Toy Story 4 (2019) Review

Toy Story 4 (2019) Review

For fork's sake - Toy Story 4 asks Game Of Thrones to hold its juicebox. “Toy Story”, “Toy Story 2” and “Toy Story 3” remain one of the finest movie trilogies ever brought to life on the big screen. “Toy Story 4”, on the other hand, feels like one of those reunion specials that seem to...

Clown In A Cornfield (2025) Review

Clown In A Cornfield (2025) Review

Frendo is corny in all the best ways. Clown In A Cornfield is something of a boomerang throwback. On its way out, it's a quintessentially old school slasher movie about a town that has an overpowering corporate mascot, and of course it’s a clown. Not because anyone particularly likes...

The One I Love (2015) Review

The One I Love (2015) Review

This review goes out to The One I Love. Quirky indie sci-fi romantic drama “The One I Love” is a difficult film to describe without giving away any of its surprises. Ethan (Mark Duplass) and Sophie (Elisabeth Moss) are struggling with a marriage on the brink of collapse when...

Inherent Vice (2015) Review

Inherent Vice (2015) Review

I was going to write a detailed and logical Inherent Vice but then I got high. It’s little wonder the most common witticism being thrown around in respect of Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest is 'Incoherent Vice'. It’s almost irresistible - and already has a dedicated Twitter feed to...

The Little Death (2015) Review

The Little Death (2015) Review

The Little Death explores the ins and outs of sex. Trigger warnings abound in "The Little Death", Josh Lawson’s frank, taboo-breaking but surprisingly sweet directorial debut as he charts the ups and downs of the love lives of a select group of suburban couples. The five loosely...