There’s no business like snow business

“Avalanche Sharks” offers us a grab bag of plot elements as native American supernatural snow shark spirits come back to haunt the residents and visitors of a ski resort. The film does actually provide an avalanche but it’s not really that integral to the plot.

Originally planned as a sequel to “Sand Sharks”, it’s another link in the chain of taking the word shark and placing a random word in front of it (or, in the case of “Sharknado”, after it) but beyond a cast member or two, it actually has zero links to that movie.

Ultimately it’s an excuse for people to get eaten by CGI sharks in a snowy setting which, against all logic, still includes a bikini modelling competition. It’s almost like an old fashioned ski school sex comedy, just without either of those important ingredients (sex or comedy). Despite the unsuccessful effort put in to explain the McGuffin of the curse which has roused these phantasmagorical shark ghosts (repeatedly, to diminishing returns each time), less imagination has been put into making the kills interesting or fun. In fact, there’s a disappointing lack of exploiting the barmy premise’s potential at all.

The CGI is generally disappointing and inconsistent, there are a number of non-shark related subplots that add nothing and go nowhere and a disturbing amount of time is spent by characters talking at each other with little benefit to any of the storylines as if, were you at a ski resort where guests and locals alike were being devoured by phantom sharks, there’d be anything else you’d be talking about. There are some unintentional laughs provided by some of the ideas the characters come up with to avoid being eaten but in the end, things are resolved in a really unsatisfying tourist ex machina way. “Avalanche Sharks” is a high concept but low achievement, making things worse by not having the wit or wisdom to follow through on its potential. Its only redeeming feature is that the cinematography is actually quite good for a film like this. It’s a pretty film to watch even though it’s a chore to sit through.

shark weak
avalanche sharks review
logo

Related posts

Grimsby (2016) Review

Grimsby (2016) Review

If you want some kind of context to understand the tone of Sasha Baron Cohen’s seminal (at least as far as elephants are concerned) new movie “Grimsby”, then know this: Rebel Wilson is an island of subdued subtlety amid the crass, lowbrow and profoundly tasteless shenanigans. When Norman...

Beware The Slenderman (2017) Review

Beware The Slenderman (2017) Review

Beware The Slenderman finds sympathy for the devil but very little other insight. “Beware the Slenderman” is a 2017 documentary which examines the real-life incident in which two girls attempted to murder one of their friends, to appease the Slender Man, a fictional creepy past monster...

Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024) Review

Hellboy: The Crooked Man (2024) Review

Hellboy's post-del Toro curse is still in effect. Hellboy has had a rough go of it on screen. Guillermo del Toro’s baroque beauty and tender affection for the character didn’t fully translate into box office success, and the 2019 reboot came across more like a highlight reel of grotesque...

The end for the Superhero movie boom?

The end for the Superhero movie boom?

Does the success of Venom and Aquaman herald the beginning of the end for the Superhero movie boom? With “Venom” grossing $855m worldwide and “Aquaman” taking over $1billion at the global box office, one thing is clear: the box office domination of the Superhero movie genre is coming...

To Be Or Not To Be Review

To Be Or Not To Be Review

The remake or not the remake, that is the question facing wartime satire To Be Or Not To Be... In a universe where comedy and tragedy are locked in diametric opposition around the dark star of history, TO BE OT NOT TO BE exists in two distinct orbits: the 1942 original by Ernst...

Dumbo (1941) Review

Dumbo (1941) Review

There’s no ignoring this elephant in the room h saved Disney Animation Studios (it would go on to need saving again, cyclically, in the future) after the unprofitable indulgences of “Fantasia”, “Dumbo” - released in 1941 mere weeks before the United States would find itself dragged...

The Scopia Effect (2015) Review

The Scopia Effect (2015) Review

Cast your mind back to The Scopia Effect The current renaissance in independent British genre films shows no signs of abating with psychological sci-fi horror “The Scopia Effect”, available now exclusively on iTunes. Marking the feature debut of writer/ director Christopher...

Doctor Who: Oxygen Review

Doctor Who: Oxygen Review

Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe and to love Who I’m always a little conflicted about voiceover narration in “Doctor Who” but it’s hard to complain here in "Oxygen" when it’s used to such cheeky effect, having Capaldi solemnly intone ‘Space: the final...