Ode To Star Wars Fandom

Friend of the Craggus, Fernby, has written an excellent piece excoriating the state of Star Wars fandom in the wake of the news of Kelly Marie Tran being hounded off Instagram. In turn, he inspired me to wax, if not lyrical, at least passable.

Ode To Star Wars Fandom

They did not come for the Ewoks, not at first, anway.

First they came for Jar Jar Binks, and I did not speak out—

Because fuck that Gungan, man.

Then they came for little Annie, and I did not speak out—

Because, I thought, the kid was a bit wooden.

Then they came for Hayden Christensen, and I spoke out a little—

Because Hayden’s not a bad actor, just badly directed.

So they came for George, and I thought –

Yeah, he deserves a lot of the criticism.

Then Disney came for Lucasfilm and though I did not speak out –

I did rejoice in ‘a new hope’.


Then they changed.

When they came for Rey, I did not speak out—

But I did adore the character and never considered her a ‘Mary Sue’.

When they came for Finn, I did not speak out—

Even though it was clear they’d become a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

When they fermented and fetishized their own theories—

I did not speak out because I hoped they would want to go home and rethink their life.

When they came for Rian Johnson—

I did not speak out at first because I was still processing the complexity and audacity of The Last Jedi

Until when they came for Rose Tico actress Kelly Marie Tran—

I realised that even if I spoke out, I would probably not be heard.

They were too loud. Their hate had made them powerful.

That they would come, so ignorant of their own on-screen reflections in the First Order,

So unaware of the irony that attacking, with such hated and vitriol,

The most innocent character, played by one of the most enthusiastic fan/ actors,

And ignoring her message to save what you love rather than destroying what you hate,

Is the emotional and cognitive equivalent of Yoda’s syntax.

Instead they idolised the character who most spoke to them,

And The Last Jedi cut him in half and cast him aside as if he were nothing.

As if they were nothing.

Of course, they would revel in the problems of “Solo”

They had long since revealed themselves but at last they would have revenge.


A luminous fandom are we, not these crude beings.

It is time for millions of voices to cry out in defiance

And try to ensure that they are the ones who are silenced.

“Star Wars” fandom is reborn today.

The fightback is just beginning.

And we will not be the last real Star Wars fans.

Live long and prosper.

1 Comment

  1. Peter B June 6, 2018

    What happened to Tran is horrendous.

    For years I defended the prequels because I thought they were daring, unexpected, told a compelling story, had something important to say, and took insane risks, even if they had those flaws everyone could see. But TLJ turned me to the dark side.

    But the way the fans have behaved in recent days, towards Tran, towards the solidly entertaining Solo, has ensured that I will never stand with that crowd again, even if they have a point about something.

    I LOVE this poem. Thank you for it. I think the true fans are still out there, I think that the problem is that SW has been turned into a non-event, and we all know that caviar would lose its cache if it were everywhere. When I saw Solo last Friday, it was like a funeral dirge was being shown in the theater. Not even Han and Chewie’s first meeting inspired a reaction from the audience. The problem is not that the movie is bad. You’ve seen it. It’s great. The problem is that people have stopped being impressed by callbacks to the original trilogy, because we’ve been presented with so many callbacks, in so many movies, and the movies are coming faster and faster. Everything gets old, if it’s repeated enough. Disney needs to create new scenarios that do not depend on the old ones. Thousands of light years away from the story of the Skywalkers, or thousands of years in the past, or both.

    This is a wake up call, not just for SW, but all of Hollywood. If audiences are not clapping and cheering when Han and Chewie meet for the first time, audiences are going to stop clapping and cheering when all callbacks happen in all nostalgia driven movies.

Comments are closed.