Holmes & Watson is excrementary, my dear reader.

Holmes And Watson Review

The 1988 Michael Caine/ Ben Kingsley movie “Without A Clue” asked what would happen if Holmes was actually an idiot and Dr Watson was the genius but “Holmes & Watson” dares to ask what if they were both imbeciles, in a crass and witless farce? The answer is excrementary, my dear reader.

When the trial of Professor Moriarty (Ralph Fiennes) collapses after Sherlock Holmes (Will Ferrell) exposes the accused as a lookalike patsy, the real Professor seemingly announces a plot to murder Queen Victoria (Pam Ferris). It’s up to Holmes and Doctor Watson (John C Reilly) to solve the case before the master criminal wreaks terrible vengeance on the British Empire.

Written and Directed by Etan Cohen, it’s difficult to say how much of his original script makes it to the screen as scene after scene of excruciatingly, aggressively unfunny improvised ‘bits’ as Ferrell and Reilly try to out-silly each other, possibly in a selfish competition to make each other corpse.

Speaking of corpses, we can at least now be sure Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s long-standing fascination and belief in the supernatural and spiritual is complete bunkum because if there was any kind of afterlife, his wrathful spirit would surely have returned and wreaked a terrible vengeance on everyone involved in this cinematic abomination.

This isn’t just the worst film of 2018 (sorry, “Mile 22” and “The Cloverfield Paradox”), it’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen and the very first movie I’ve ever been sorely tempted to just walk out of, after less than half an hour. So many fine performers are dragged down by this unholy mess of a movie that fails on every single level. It’s so profoundly, intensely unfunny that it collapses in on itself to become a super-dense particle of anti-comedy, dragging in any residual amusement you may have from other sources until you feel like you may never laugh again.

0/10 

logo

Related posts

My Life As A Courgette (2017) is a tiny movie about great big things.

My Life As A Courgette (2017) is a tiny movie about great big things.

“My Life As A Courgette” is a tiny little movie about great big things. Clocking in at a mere 66 minutes long, you’d be forgiven for expecting something frothy and whimsical to go along with the eye-catchingly colourful character design. In fact, the movie deals with the weightiest and darkest...

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) Review

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) Review

I’m struggling to recall a sequel which so comprehensively fails to live up to the promise of its predecessor as “Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials”. Maybe “The Matrix Reloaded”? After the first movie’s ballsy decision to end on a cliffhanger teased the prospect of the Maze having just been...

If at first, Star Trek Picard struggled to succeed, Troi, Troi again. Nepenthe (S1E07) Review

If at first, Star Trek Picard struggled to succeed, Troi, Troi again. Nepenthe (S1E07) Review

*SPOILERS* Although it starts with another flashback, this time we’re only going back a mere three weeks as we get more of the shady Commodore Oh’s visit with Doctor Jurati. Of course, its nothing that we hadn’t worked out ourselves already but when has that ever stopped this show from telling...

Craggus’ Christmas Countdown Day 2: Scrooged (1988)

Craggus' Christmas Countdown Day 2: Scrooged (1988)

Reinterpretations of Dicken’s “A Christmas Carol” are almost as old as the original story itself. Indeed, it’ll crop up in various forms three or four times before The Craggus’ Christmas Countdown comes to an end. By lucky dip, we’re starting with one of the best riffs on the theme, 1988’s...

2 Comments

  1. Keith Noakes January 1, 2019

    I feel your pain. I don’t remember ever wanting to walk out of a movie more than while watching this dumpster fire.

  2. Rodney Twelftree January 3, 2019

    I always loved the term “anti-comedy” and I use it in day-to-day discussion whenever possible. I have not, nor will I ever, have a desire to watch this flaming turd, the trailers where ghastly and I have less than zero interest in Will Ferrell at the best of times, which only compounds my disinterest. Thanks for taking one for the team, my friend.

Comments are closed.