Look! Up in the sky! It’s absurd! It’s a shame! Yes, it’s Super Shark (2011) #SharkWeak3 Review

Imbued with special powers by a toxic waste spill, mild-mannered ocean dweller Shark Kent dedicates himself to using his newfound abilities to fight for truth, justice and…nope. As fun as that movie would be, “Super Shark” is just another killer shark, bikinis and bites B-movie. It does, at least, open excitingly in media res with a poorly animated CGI battle between a shark that can somehow leap around on land and a ‘walking tank’. In a genre that usually tries its best to keep the shark hidden for as long as possible for suspense and/or economic/ credibility reasons, you have to admire this ‘show and tell’ opening for its bravery if nothing else.

Starring John Schneider (“Dukes Of Hazzard”, “Smallville”) as the dastardly Roger Wade, CEO of the polluting drilling operation which created the bullet-proof mutant shark and Sarah Lieving as Dr Catehrine Carmichael, a crusading marine biologist, “Super Shark” leans so heavily onto the environmental sub-theme that it topples over and squashes it flat.

For a professional sharksploitation flick, the acting is particularly wooden and the effects are very, very cheap. The shark growls, of course, and yet it still has the best of the otherwise leaden dialogue foisted upon the rest of the flesh and blood cast. The writing is terrible, with dreadful character ‘development’, clumsy exposition battling with a lack of explanation in other areas makes for a frustratingly dull screenplay that even an arbitrary bikini contest can’t per up.

Far from super, it’s a very, very ordinary move. Even the make-up is substandard and the kills aren’t great either. Witless rather than witty and tediously repetitive, “Super Shark” may hold a record for the least kills in the water (unless you count the crew of the submarine?) yet never explains why or how the shark can go on land, and even “Sharkenstein” managed to explain that one away. This movie is sharksploitation fan kryptonite.

2/10 

logo

Related posts

For Star Trek Discovery, you can Ni’Var have enough Michael Burnham S3E07 – Unification III Review

For Star Trek Discovery, you can Ni'Var have enough Michael Burnham S3E07 - Unification III Review


For Star Trek Discovery, you can Ni'Var have enough Michael Burnham S3E07 - Unification III Review

*SPOILERS*It takes courage – or at least obliviousness – to add a belated third chapter to an existing two-part story, let alone one which brought together an icon of “Star Trek: he Original Series” with the cast of “Star Trek: The Next Generation” so it’s thematically fitting that...

The truth is out there in surprisingly procedural threequel The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

The truth is out there in surprisingly procedural threequel The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)


The truth is out there in surprisingly procedural threequel The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)

Having come to THE CONJURING universe quite late, and taken a rather haphazard approach to watching them (I think ANNABELLE COMES HOME might have been my very first), it’s taken me a while to realise that I seem to enjoy the movies which remind me of something else more than the others. I...

Craggus’ Trek Trek – Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979)
Eurovision Song Contest: The Story Of Fire Saga (2020) hits some of the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order.

2 Comments

  1. The Inner Circle July 9, 2019

    You are pulling out all the terrible SyFy shark movies this week….these have been fun to read!

    • The Craggus July 9, 2019

      Every year I swear this “Shark Weak” is the last, yet here I am watching some more terrible movies!

Comments are closed.