The face you make when it’s time for Craggus’ Trek Trek Phase II Vol 4

Craggus’ Trek Trek Phase II Vol 4 sees the fledgeling series lumber into its sophomore series. It’s still desperately uneven but there are more frequent signs of the greatness to come.

Star Trek The Next Generation S1E25: The Neutral Zone

Although the last episode started with Geordi telling a dirty joke, this one is set up like one: a capitalist, a redneck and a housewife walk into a freezer and wake up in a Romulan standoff. This MAGA demographic trifecta frozen by a foolish ‘Donald’ might just be the only remnants of Space Force that survive to the 24th century. A solid enough episode but underwhelming as a season ‘finale’.

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E01: The Child

As we move in to Season 2, we boldly go back in time as Gene Rodenberry raids the box in the attic where all the Star Trek Phase II scripts were kept. Pulaski, Guinan and Ian arrive as the Enterprise picks up a cargo of deadly plague and nothing much actually happens or matters. With Dr Crusher gone, Dr Pulaski has to OBGYN where no Starfleet Doctor has gone before and the rest of the crew bungle an opportunity to get rid of Wesley once and for all.

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E02: Where Silence Has Lease

Worf takes Riker into his favourite Masters of the Universe holodeck programme to fight Skeletor in a disconnected cold open to this standard ‘playthings of the Gods’ trope Trek episode. Pulaski’s obnoxious and clumsy robophobia rears its head again but it’ll always feel weird because it never gets addressed or explored at any point so we have to assume everyone’s just cool with her being a little bit racist. Picard and Nagilum eventually make Spacebook friends and agree to poke each other later.

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E03: Elementary, Dear Data

Pulaski’s anti-Data agenda makes Geordi put his the-game’s-afoot in it as he accidentally discovers that the way to create sentient artificial life is simply to tell the computer to create an adversary capable of defeating Data. Daniel Davis makes a wonderful Moriarty and its a shame we have to wait so long to see him again. Everything Robert Picardo’s holographic Doctor brought to Voyager finds its roots here in season 2 of The Next Generation.

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E04: The Outrageous Okona

Picard tries his hand at being Maury Povich as he’s called upon to mediate an accusation of theft and identify the babydaddy to avoid an interstellar conflict. A young Teri Hatcher makes for an appealing transporter chief in an episode which feels like a good old-fashioned Rodenberry back door pilot attempt to launch a spin-off of the rogueish and vaguely Shakespearian pseudo-Solo Okona.

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E05: Loud As A Whisper

It’s nil point for the Ramatis III entry for the intergalactic song contest as famed peace negotiator and BeeGee cosplayer Riva’s chorus is reduced to a skeleton crew. As allegories go, this one is so heavy-handed it constantly risks collapsing in on itself, becoming a black hole of metaphorical earnestness. When it’s not taking itself too seriously, it’s fine but it has to do a lot of quick thinking to keep its premise just this side of plausible. It’s nice to see Troi get some praise, though.

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E06: The Schizoid Man

The Enterprise rushes to the aid of the galaxy’s biggest asshole and suspected paedophile, Dr Ira Graves. It turns out Graves is sort of Data’s grandad (building the tedious soap operatics of Data’s family tree which will continue to grow throughout the series) but instead of a kindly word and a Werther’s Original, Data’s grandpa archives his consciousness and steals his body. It takes the crew far too long to figure out Data isn’t himself but at least once they do, Graves just gives up and dies. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Star Trek The Next Generation S2E07: Unnatural Selection

When the Enterprise installs a new 4K UHD viewscreen on the bridge, it does Doctor Pulaski no favours at all. The good doctor encounters some wrinkles in time as Season 2 continues plundering the back catalogue for ideas, this time rehashing TOS’ The Deadly Years with amped-up teenage hormones aggressively making everyone old. The eventual solution (transporter cure) is borderline JJ-verse world-breaking and is therefore promptly forgotten about for future dramatic convenience.