Moonwalker (1988) Review

Last Christmas, a friend of the family gave us four tickets for the touring show “Forever Jackson” featuring Michael Jackson impersonator Robin Parsons, because Mrs Craggus has long been a fan of the ‘King Of Pop’. The show’s a lot of fun and Parsons pretty much nails his Jackson impersonation (as long as you don’t … Continue reading Moonwalker (1988) Review

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Any Major Dude (2017) Review

Colin Combes (Scott Brindle), 42-year-old gardening journalist, is staring down the barrel of a locked and loaded mid-life crisis. He’s starting to suspect his wife, Freya (Angelique Fronike) still has feelings for her ex, the aging pop star Gordon ‘Midge’ Midgely (Rob Marsden) and as if that wasn’t enough, he’s due for a colonoscopy to … Continue reading Any Major Dude (2017) Review

Suspiria (1977) Review

I’ve long had a love-hate relationship with horror that’s increasingly been completely out of step with the reality of my movie watching experience nowadays. I'll avoid some horror movies purely because of their legendary reputation; I think they’ll end up freaking me out, even though I know I’m too old and too rationally cynical to … Continue reading Suspiria (1977) Review

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 7

25 years ago, on 3rd January 1993, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” made its TV debut in America. It wouldn’t reach UK TV screens until 22nd August later that year. To celebrate the 25th Anniversary, What The Craggus Saw is taking the time between those two premiere dates to revisit and review each season of … Continue reading Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 7

In The Heat Of The Night (1967) Lee Grant Blogathon Review

This post is published as part of Realweegiemidget Reviews and Angelman's Place's Lee Grant Blogathon. Arguably every bit as topical and important now as it was when it was released, “In The Heat Of The Night” tells the story of a black Police Detective, Virgil Tibbs (a superb Sidney Poitier) who finds himself pressed into assisting … Continue reading In The Heat Of The Night (1967) Lee Grant Blogathon Review

5-Headed Shark Attack (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

The latest entry in the polycephalic Carcharodon carry-on opens with a decidedly mono-mouthed shark swimming through the ocean. *rings trade descriptions* Oh wait, it's a fake-out. It’s actually just a regular great white; a snack for the real monster... *starts to put phone down* ...which has four heads??? *snatches up phone again* Once again, the … Continue reading 5-Headed Shark Attack (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

Atomic Shark (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

There’s no denying the ambition of this frankly barmy entry in the sharksploitation oeuvre, opening as it does with an ominous montage of underwater scenes intercut with Cold War newsreel footage and Robert Oppenheimer quotes. It’s the closest we get to a real explanation of how the shark became nuclear, so just go with it. … Continue reading Atomic Shark (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015) #SharkWeak2 Review

Sometime in the future, the world has yet to recover from the last mega shark attack. A voiceover tells us that the near total halt of global shipping plus a general avoidance of the coast and water by the population of the world has had a devastating economic impact. We’re told this over footage of … Continue reading Mega Shark vs Kolossus (2015) #SharkWeak2 Review

3-Headed Shark Attack (2015) #SharkWeak2 Review

A 3-headed shark suddenly attacks a group of partying teenagers, killing all of them except one who was on a buoy while the rest of the teens were at the beach. The shark then proceeds to attack the Persephone, an underwater research facility studying the Pacific Garbage Patch. Some of the research personnel manage to … Continue reading 3-Headed Shark Attack (2015) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (2014) #SharkWeak2 Review

Previously, on “Mega Shark vs...”, our fishy anti-hero and his reptilian rival were poached to death by an underwater volcano, and it would appear that was indeed that. But fear not, a drought in the Mediterranean has prompted an entrepreneur to tow an iceberg to the afflicted area but – wouldn’t you know it – … Continue reading Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark (2014) #SharkWeak2 Review

Ghost Shark (2013) #SharkWeak2 Review

Conceptually, this may be one of the best bad shark movies ever. I mean, it’s still terrible, but what an idea! With tongue firmly in see-through cheek, this is one of the funniest and most fun bad shark movies ever made. When rednecks on a dynamite fishing trip kill a great white shark, its body … Continue reading Ghost Shark (2013) #SharkWeak2 Review

Shark Week (2012) #SharkWeak2 Review

“Shark Week”, very much not to be confused with the annual Discovery Channel documentary-thon, begins mis-en-scene, with Tiburon (an almost unrecognisable Patrick Bergen) taunting his poolside victim like a cut-price Bond villain/ Jigsaw hybrid. Ultimately our unfortunate introductory victim takes the plunge and bites the big one...well, gets bitten by the big one. So begins … Continue reading Shark Week (2012) #SharkWeak2 Review

Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012) #SharkWeak2 Review

While the idea of sharks as merciless killers of the sea is older than Shakespeare’s ‘ravin'd salt-sea shark’, the idea that sharks posed a risk to the land-dwelling general population is just over a century old. In 1916, between July 1st and July 12th 1916, five shark attacks occurred along the New Jersey shore which … Continue reading Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012) #SharkWeak2 Review

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) #SharkWeak2 Review

Spending a semester at sea conducting research sounds like a dream come true, right? Not when your expedition finds itself under attack from a mutated two-headed shark! Thankfully the boat is stranded near an abandoned atoll but when the atoll itself starts sinking, no one is safe from the monster! Given the title monster has … Continue reading 2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010) #SharkWeak2 Review

Way down deep in the middle of the Congo, an illegal diamond mining operation unearths a giant 150-foot crocodile because of course it does. At the same time, in the middle of the Atlantic, the US Navy warship USS Gibson (haha geddit? Because Debbie Gibson was in the first one but isn’t in this one. … Continue reading Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Finally, on screen together for the first time, two iconic titans duke it out for ocean supremacy and there’s not a Martha in sight to bring the throw down to a halt. When the deployment of a low-frequency sonar array causes a pod of whales to go berserk and start head-butting a glacier and somehow … Continue reading Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Swamp Shark (2011) #SharkWeak2 Review

“Swamp Shark” sees us returning to the safe waters of the insert-unusual-place-in-front-of-the-word-‘shark’ format and this time we return to the Louisiana bayou for a third time, once again in the company of Kristy Swanson, this time tackling our first proper cryptid critter of #SharkWeak2. When an animal smuggler accidentally releases a rare and exotic shark … Continue reading Swamp Shark (2011) #SharkWeak2 Review

Shark Night 3D (2011) #SharkWeak2 Review

Fun is also in short supply in “Shark Night 3D”, a cynical and insufferable shark movie which somehow managed to get itself a theatrical release despite it being really, really awful. Sara (Sara Paxton) and her friends set out to spend a fun-filled weekend at her lake house on the shores of Louisiana's Lake Pontchartrain. … Continue reading Shark Night 3D (2011) #SharkWeak2 Review

The Reef (2010) #SharkWeak2 Review

The thing I love about sharksploitation movies is they’re generally fun. Fun is a big part of the appeal, even when – or maybe especially when – they’re bad. “The Reef” is not a bad movie, but it's also definitely not a fun movie. When a group of friends find themselves stranded on a capsized … Continue reading The Reef (2010) #SharkWeak2 Review

Psycho Shark (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Subtitles? Oh cool – this is a Japanese monster shark movie. We’ve seen what they make of giant atomic dinosaur lizards, so I can’t wait to see what they make of a giant killer shark. Except we’ll just have to – wait, that is - because most of the brief 69 minute running time is … Continue reading Psycho Shark (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Malibu Shark Attack (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

“Malibu Shark Attack” opens with that old favourite, an undersea landslide. This one apparently releases some long-extinct sharks who we’ll get to later. First of all, like the Spinosaurus in “Jurassic Park 3”, the main monster of this movie has to demonstrate its prowess early on by symbolically taking out the previously assumed ‘daddy’ of … Continue reading Malibu Shark Attack (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Shark Swarm (2008) #SharkWeak2 Review

Too short to be a miniseries but too long, really, to be a movie, this Hallmark production weighs in at a whale shark-esque two hours and forty minutes, which is a long time to endure a bad shark movie, so it’s a good thing this one is – believe it or not – actually halfway … Continue reading Shark Swarm (2008) #SharkWeak2 Review

Shark In Venice (2008) #SharkWeak2 Review

A movie so non-union equivalent it could have been directed by Senor Spielbergo himself, “Shark In Venice” dives deep into classic Spielbergian action adventure (in ambition if not quite execution) and boasts a cast led by undeniable Hollywood A-list-adjacent talent. When his father disappears while diving in the city of Venice, David ([Stephen] Baldwin) travels … Continue reading Shark In Venice (2008) #SharkWeak2 Review

Sharkman (2005) #SharkWeak2 Review

We’re back in the realms of mad science with 2005’s “Sharkman” (the internet’s most often confused movie. It’s sometimes called “Hammerhead” and not to be confused with the apparently unavailable (believe me I tried) 2001 film “Sharkman” from which I think the poster I’ve used is taken but plenty of other sites credit this to … Continue reading Sharkman (2005) #SharkWeak2 Review

Sharkzilla (2004) #SharkWeak2 Review

“Sharkzilla”, known everywhere apart from the UK as “Megalodon”, is a 2004 TV movie set on a deep sea oil rig which breaks through to a hidden undersea ocean. If that sounds familiar, it bears an uncanny resemblance to the first two-thirds of “The Meg”, although this film manages to tell the story without once … Continue reading Sharkzilla (2004) #SharkWeak2 Review

Red Water (2003) #SharkWeak2 Review

A tiny bit of a step down from the glossy multiplex-friendly “Deep Blue Sea”, this 2003 TV movie may dial down the star wattage somewhat but it doesn’t turn the lights out completely: Lou Diamond Phillips! Kristy Swanson! Coolio! I mean, come on – what more could you want? Down-on-his-luck boat owner John Sanders is … Continue reading Red Water (2003) #SharkWeak2 Review

Deep Blue Sea (1999) #SharkWeak2 Review

Fittingly, we open #SharkWeak2 not with a terrible shark movie, but with a surprisingly seminal one with many of the modern sharksploitation tropes finding their roots in this turn of the millennium action adventure. When rogue scientist Dr Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) makes a last-ditch appeal to her corporate sponsor Russell Franklin (Samuel L Jackson) … Continue reading Deep Blue Sea (1999) #SharkWeak2 Review

Last Action Hero (1993) 25th Anniversary Review

Perennially underrated, often unfairly maligned (even by Schwarzenegger himself) as his first real failure, ironic action movie masterpiece “Last Action Hero” is twenty-five years old this year and way overdue for a reappraisal. Danny Madigan (Austin O'Brien) prefers the movies to the trials and tribulations of real life, especially the adventures of his all-time favourite … Continue reading Last Action Hero (1993) 25th Anniversary Review

Hulk (2003) 15th Anniversary Review

Not to be corny, but today marks the 15th anniversary of the not-so-jolly green giant’s big screen debut, Ang Lee’s underappreciated “Hulk”. It also probably marks at least ten years since I last watched it and I’d always considered it the lesser of the two Hulk movies but it really isn’t. Revisiting it now, at … Continue reading Hulk (2003) 15th Anniversary Review

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 6

25 years ago, on 3rd January 1993, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” made its TV debut in America. It wouldn’t reach UK TV screens until 22nd August later that year. To celebrate the 25th Anniversary, What The Craggus Saw is taking the time between those two premiere dates to revisit and review each season of … Continue reading Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 6

The Incredibles (2004) Review

There are very few films as perfect as “The Incredibles”. Not only does it work flawlessly as one of the finest ever examples of a superhero movie, it also serves as an insightful deconstruction and analysis of the genre itself and still finds time to satirise the rise of entitled fan culture with a prescience … Continue reading The Incredibles (2004) Review

Cliffhanger (1993) 25th Anniversary Review

Celebrating its UK release’s 25th Anniversary, “Cliffhanger” saw Sylvester Stallone return to the genre which had nurtured him after the critical and artistic losing streak which started with “Rocky V” and hit rock bottom with “Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot”. Teaming up with action director for hire Renny Harlin, Stallone delivered a stripped-back high … Continue reading Cliffhanger (1993) 25th Anniversary Review

It Came From The Desert (2018) Review

Released on DVD tomorrow and based on the video game of the same name, this cheerful and peppy indie adaptation makes the most of its limited resources and makes a credible pitch for best video game movie adaptation since “Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle”. When a group of teenage motocross contenders head to the New … Continue reading It Came From The Desert (2018) Review

Goodbye Christopher Robin (2017) Review

With something as pure and innocent as the adventures of Winnie The Pooh, you’d be forgiven for thinking the story of their creation would be equally as heart-warming and uplifting. But, as Simon Curtis’ absorbing biopic reveals, the truth is anything but. “Goodbye Christopher Robin” tells the true-life story of how one of the world’s … Continue reading Goodbye Christopher Robin (2017) Review

United Passions (2015) Review

With the World Cup kicking off in Russia today, what better time to review that great footballing drama “United Passions”? Inspired by actual events but mendaciously crafted to launder the true story and, quite probably, create an opportunistic "The Producers"-style tax write off, “United Passions” is such a bald-faced work of propaganda that you almost … Continue reading United Passions (2015) Review

The Best Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Fifteen years ago, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” aired its final episode “Chosen” on Sky One here in the UK (some three weeks or so after its US airdate), so it’s the perfect time for Sweetie G – the person who introduced me to Buffy – and me to sit down and agree our Top Ten … Continue reading The Best Of Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 5

25 years ago, on 3rd January 1993, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” made its TV debut in America. It wouldn’t reach UK TV screens until 22nd August later that year. To celebrate the 25th Anniversary, What The Craggus Saw is taking the time between those two premiere dates to revisit and review each season of … Continue reading Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 5

Dark Forest (2015) Review

It’s not often that Sweetie G and I disagree strongly about a movie, except of course for “World War Z” but we don’t have time to get in that here. Suffice to say, when we were asked to take a look at independent Canadian horror who could have guessed it would bear comparison to that … Continue reading Dark Forest (2015) Review

Sky High (2005) Kurt Russell Blogathon Review

This post is published as part of Realweegiemidget Reviews and Return To The 80s' Kurt Russell Blogathon. “Sky High” was released in 2005, when the superhero movie boom was beginning to look like a flash in the pan. The output hard turned mediocre (“The Fantastic Four”, “Constantine”*) to poor (“Elektra”, “Son Of The Mask”). “Batman … Continue reading Sky High (2005) Kurt Russell Blogathon Review

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 4

25 years ago, on 3rd January 1993, “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” made its TV debut in America. It wouldn’t reach UK TV screens until 22nd August later that year. To celebrate the 25th Anniversary, What The Craggus Saw is taking the time between those two premiere dates to revisit and review each season of … Continue reading Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 25th Anniversary Retrospective: Season 4

Grease (1978) 40th Anniversary Review

Rereleased to celebrate its 40th anniversary, “Grease” takes us to a nostalgia-fuelled retro-dystopia where middle-aged adults are forced to attend high school and endure the trials and tribulations of adolescent life, no doubt the forfeit of some Faustian pact or “Lost”-style purgatorial atonement. After being drowned by a freak wave during a weekend getaway to … Continue reading Grease (1978) 40th Anniversary Review

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Driven by recurring dreams of the destruction of Asgard, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) allows himself to be captured by fire demon Surtur in order to pre-empt and prevent Ragnarok. Returning to Asgard, Thor forces Loki (Tom Hiddleston) to reveal himself and confess to where Odin (Anthony Hopkins) is being held. But Odin’s absence has and Loki’s … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Following his adventure with the Avengers in Germany, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) finds himself back in Queens, New York, balancing his school days with nights spent patrolling the neighbourhood as Spider-Man. Mentored by Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr), Peter’s reluctant to return to the small-scale crime fighting he’s confronted with in his own neck of … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2 (2017)

After a spot of mischievous larceny by Rocket angers their most recent client, Ayesha, High Priestess of The Sovereign People, the Guardians find themselves fleeing from the Sovereign fleet and crash-land on a nearby planet thanks to Star-Lord and Rocket's squabbling. But their argument is interrupted by the arrival of another ship, piloted by Ego … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2 (2017)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Doctor Strange (2016)

Arrogant and gifted neurosurgeon Stephen Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) is sailing through life, aloof from the world around him until he suffers a catastrophic car accident which permanently damages the nerves in his hands. Seeking a cure of last resort, Strange travels to Tibet where he encounters The Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) who opens his mind … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Doctor Strange (2016)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

In the wake of the destruction in Sokovia and a pitched battle against Crossbones in Nigeria, the governments of the world come together in an attempt to curtail and control the Avengers’ activities under a UN council. As the prospect of political control splits the Avengers down the middle, the sudden re-emergence of The Winter … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Ant-Man (2015)

Scientist Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) has spent his life keeping his creation out of the hands of SHIELD and any other world power but when his former protégé Darren Cross (Corey Stoll) manages to recreate some of his work, he is forced to recruit talented thief Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) to help him and his … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Ant-Man (2015)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015)

The Avengers have been chasing down the remnants of Hydra and trying to locate and retrieve Loki’s staff. The mission is a success despite the intervention of two ‘enhanced’ individuals and the sceptre is returned to Avengers Tower where Bruce Banner and Tony Stark work to unlock its secrets in the hope of bringing their … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Avengers: Age Of Ultron (2015)

Dark Disney: Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) Review

Suitably Autumnal, with Halloween overtones, “Something Wicked This Way Comes” sets out to create and then subvert the Norman Rockwell archetypal small American town. The story cuts right to the heart of the fragility of the American dream and the constant paranoia that somehow, their self-evident utopian land of the free and home of the … Continue reading Dark Disney: Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) Review

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)

Far out in space, Peter Quill (aka Star-Lord) – abducted from Earth when he was a young boy – steals a mysterious orb and immediately finds himself the centre of a galactic manhunt. Pursued by the evil and merciless Ronan The Accuser, he is captured by the Nova Corps and forced into an uneasy alliance … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)