Santa Jaws (2018) brings a bit of festive fin for a #SharkWeak4🦈 Christmas Special! SANTA JAWS is a pun so delicious and filled with festive promise that it’s a wonder it took until 2018 for the chum-grinding sharksploitation mill to get around to it. While it shares all the usual hallmarks of its peers: cheap ..
Directed by notorious Italian filmmaker Bruno Mattei – renowned for repurposing other films’ footage to suit himself – CRUEL JAWS may just be the most tired and badly made JAWS rip-off of all time, making THE LAST SHARK look like THE LAST EMPEROR. Oh, sure, it tries to disguise its plagiarised nature by changing the ..
Found footage horror is quite the rarity in the bad shark movie genre but then again, CAGE DIVE (sometimes badged as OPEN WATER 3: CAGE DIVE although it has no direct relationship OPEN WATER) is a film of contradictions. While it does, at least, feature sharks – unlike its shark-free predecessor – it doesn’t actually ..
It’s fairly common in the world of bad shark movies for franchises to be fashioned out of films that share little to nothing in common other than the presence of sharks. In fact, it’s actually quite rare for there to be a consistent through-line from one film to the next. 47 METERS DOWN: UNCAGED very ..
Brought to you by four production companies who seemingly put more thought and effort into their studio idents than they did producing a good movie, SKY SHARKS not only promises more than it delivers, what it does put on screen is haphazard, unpleasant and – psychologically speaking – somewhat concerning. When a team of geologists ..
Reaching deep into the chum bucket of bad shark movies for Shark Weak 4, I’ve managed to dredge up the cinematic equivalent of a decomposing fish head in the form of 1990’s spectacularly awful Italian sharksploitation flick DEEP BLOOD. Four friends head off on vacation but when a killer shark starts to terrorise the beach ..
While more recent bad shark movies have displayed a greater range than might be expected, ZOMBIE SHARK (also known as Shark Island) is very much a throwback to the sausage factory bad shark movie output of the 2010s. After the unexpected ocean delights of SHARK KILLER and DEEP BLUE SEA 3, this decaying corpse of ..
After the flaccid and facile retread that was DEEP BLUE SEA 2, my expectations for this movie would have plumbed the depths of the challenger deep. In the annals of bad shark movie history, of course, it’s not unprecedented for a shark movie franchise that starts well to quickly sink to the murky depths of ..
From its Saul Bass-inspired opening credits, it’s clear that SHARK KILLER isn’t your everyday crappy shark movie. Instead, it’s a goofy action-adventure movie with a dashing hero, a feisty love interest and a plot-driving MacGuffin – with a bunch of sharks thrown in for good measure. This is a bad shark movie by way of ..
Like dolphins caught up in a tuna net, the trawl of the murky depths of bad shark movies occasionally hauls in something which either isn’t a terrible movie or, even rarer, isn’t really a shark movie. OPEN WATER is one of the latter. Based on (well, extrapolated from) the story of real-life couple Tom and ..
SHARK SEASON (aka Shark Attack) bring Shark Weak 4 another cheap shark movie and another cheap, literally phoned-in, Michael Madsen performance. When his daughter Sarah (Paige McGarvin) takes a modelling assignment, recent widower James (Michael Madsen) wishes her well. But Jason (Jack Pearson), the photographer and Sarah’s ex, has heard tell of a new atoll ..
While its title isn’t exactly inspired (or particularly accurate), there’s a lot to like about GREAT WHITE, a shark survival movie whose greatest sin is that it’s basically fine. When a charter flight to a remote atoll to spread some ashes comes to an abrupt end when their seaplane is sunk by an aggressive shark, ..
The overlap between crappy sharksploitation movies and softcore titillation remains vanishingly, thankfully, small despite the occasional flash of gratuitous boob so it shouldn’t really come as such a surprise that a grindhouse title like SHARKANSAS WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE comprehensively fails to live up to any of the sleazy promise its title pun inspires. When Arkansas ..
There are, broadly speaking, two types of bad shark movies. Those that are professionally yet ineptly made and those that are the work of dedicated – if not necessarily talented – amateurs. LAND SHARK is definitely one of the latter. Written and, apparently, directed by Mark Polonia (despite plentiful evidence to the contrary), this nonsensical ..
The post is part of The Shelley Winters Blogathon hosted by Poppity Talks Classic Film and RealWeegieMigdet Reviews. In the rosy box office afterglow of “Jaws”, numerous cash-ins were hastily commissioned and, just like today’s sharksploitation tv movie sub-genre, savvy producers were on the lookout for the next big beast of the deep to terrify ..
Bad shark movies are a lot of fun, but behind all the hyped-up mega predator nonsense, the fact of the matter that when it comes down to it, it’s us humans who are the real monsters. In 2006, Canadian diver and cinematographer Rob Stewart set out to study sharks in the wild and understand their ..
It’s clear from the moment the opening credits start that something has gone very wrong with the “Jaws” franchise. Everything instantly looks cheaper as the new production team bring in a tackier, naffer aesthetic to the whole set-up. Director Joe Alves is certainly no Steven Spielberg and he’s not even a Jeannot Swarzc but then ..
Far from the high concept carcharodon carry-on of the likes of “6-Headed Shark Attack” or “Sharkenstein”, “Shark Lake” sets out to position itself as a gritty and grounded shark thriller. A gritty and ground shark thriller which begins with Clint Gray (Dolph Lundgren), a rare animal smuggler, going on the run with a bull shark ..
Skulking in the shadows of the more headline-grabbing “Sharknado” series, another franchise has been chomping its way through people’s precious time and now finds itself on its fourth instalment and sixth head. “6-Headed Shark Attack” continues the series’ strong theme of having absolutely no connection to the previous movies save for one-upping the headcount and ..
When “Jaws” shattered box office records and blew minds in 1975, it inspired countless imitations but maybe none took as long to swim their way into cinema screens as India’s 1996 epic “Aatank”. Started in the early 1980s, it went through a couple of directors, various producers, rewrites, reshoots and even body doubles to finish ..
By now I’m used to sharksploitation movies being garbage, but “Trailer Park Shark” takes it to a whole new level of Great White trash. Oh, and to save you some time, if you’re thinking of watching this because it ‘stars’ “Sharknado” leading lady Tara Reid, be aware she’s hardly in it at all. When the ..
Imbued with special powers by a toxic waste spill, mild-mannered ocean dweller Shark Kent dedicates himself to using his newfound abilities to fight for truth, justice and…nope. As fun as that movie would be, “Super Shark” is just another killer shark, bikinis and bites B-movie. It does, at least, open excitingly in media res with ..
In the final days of World War II, a secret experiment to weaponise sharks is shut down by the Third Reich and thought destroyed but sixty years later, a small seaside town finds itself under siege by a mysterious bloodthirsty monster – one assembled from the reanimated parts of the world’s most ferocious species of ..
“Deep Blue Sea 2” is a movie that poses a lot of questions. Not just the obvious ones like what? or why? But also ‘what if the raptors from “Jurassic World” but sharks’? And what led Warner Bros to value this IP so lowly they rented it out for this generic, cheap sharksploitation flick? But ..
Star names are no rarity when it comes to bad shark movies, but there are two distinct styles the genre adopts. Some, like say Kirsty Swanson in “Swamp Shark” are in the movie for the long haul whereas others, like Michael Madsen in this movie, were obviously filmed in a couple of hours one morning ..
Having consulted Google Maps and confirmed that, yes, a shark in the Ozarks in technically possible, let’s dive head first into not horror fiction, but horror fact as a family vacation to the Ozarks takes a bloodthirsty turn when killer sharks invade the picturesque waterways. “Ozark Shark” doesn’t start well. The initial bloodless shark attacks ..
Many shark movies focus on making the sharks big. Very big. But what happens when you make the sharks really, really, really small? That’s the plan behind a government-funded project to develop tiny sharks but when weaponization turns out to be problematic, the project turns to selling them to fill the aquariums of New York’s ..
Behind every terrible shark movie, there is a great shark movie being ruthlessly strip-mined. With “Frenzy” (or “Surrounded” – neither of which adequately describe this cinematic cloud of squaline egesta) that film is “The Shallows”. When a group of ‘extreme adventure travel’ vloggers are stranded by the most unconvincing CGI plane crash you’ll ever have ..
There are great shark movies. And there are bad shark movies. And then there are great bad shark movies. Opening this year’s Shark Weak 3, we take a look at a forthcoming movie that definitely falls into that latter category. Reminiscent of Shark Weak 2’s winner of the coveted and totally not made up ‘Golden ..
So it’s come to this: The Last Sharknado. Can I get that in writing? Me and the Sharknado films have had quite the trajectory. At first I was like: ‘this is a joke’. Then I was like, ‘No, seriously, is this a joke?’ And then I was like ‘okay, that was actually pretty funny’ followed ..