Shark Weak 5 comes to a close with the 100th Shark Weak Review! Love ‘em, hate ‘em or, let’s face it, love to hate them, shark movies are everywhere and with Sharksploitation, Stephen Scarlata casts his net wide and deep to explore the cultural roots of humanity’s obsession with sharks, from the earliest primitive myths ..
Only two things come from Texas: steers and shit shark movies, and I don’t see no horns on Bull Shark Famously, they say everything is bigger in Texas, but they clearly hadn’t seen Bull Shark, a badly acted, duller, cheaper version of Jaws—although even that comparison might be giving it too much credit. A small ..
In watching bad shark movies, no one can hear you scream The bad shark movie hall of fame is crammed to the gills with flotsam, jetsam and plain old garbage but Alien Shark stakes a strong claim to be one of the most bizarre and bewildering titles of all. It defies logic, gravity, and cinema ..
Deep Fear offers only shallow thrills In the deep, shimmering expanse of the Caribbean Sea, Deep Fear attempts to blend the tension of survival thrillers with the primal ferocity of shark horror, yet too often finds itself adrift in familiar waters. The film, directed by Marcus Adams, stars Mãdãlina Ghenea as Naomi, an experienced yachtswoman ..
Not for the first time, big oil causes big problems in The Black Demon Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the oil rig, along comes The Black Demon, sinking its teeth not only into the flesh of its victims but into the very fabric of human conscience about environmental destruction. ..
The horniest shark movie ever made Bad shark movies have always had a decidedly horny subtext, perhaps from all the bikini-clad bathers who’ve fallen foul of the pernicious piscine predators over the years but 90210 Shark Attack is the first shark movie I’ve ever watched which seems like it might have been intended to be ..
Jaws 2 is better than every other shark movie save one (and you know which one that is) Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Jaws 2 emerges from the depths, ready to remind us that even sequels can still have teeth. While it may not have the same ..
Shark Waters surprises by not being completely terrible Maybe it’s the saltwater in my veins or the nitrogen bubbles in my blood, but after wading through the stinking cinematic fish guts of the likes of Virus Shark and Sharks Of The Corn, when I got to Shark Waters (aka Shark Frenzy), I actually had an ..
Judging by Swim, lunatics are running The Asylum Over the years, one of the richest sources of bad shark movies has been the SyFy original movie but as their output has declined, who is there to keep movie studio The Asylum in business? Step forward Tubi, the free to watch streaming service. Shark Bait may ..
Sharks Of The Corn isn’t a movie, it’s an act of psychological warfare In the history of bad shark movies, there have been many that owe their genesis to a particularly good pun but Sharks Of The Corn may be the first to owe its existence to a pun on the writer’s name. Credited as ..
Symptoms of Virus Shark include incoherent plotting, lifeless dull performances and a burning desire to turn it off Great art has always explored and illuminated the societal concerns of its era. But shit art can do that too, and Virus Shark is bad shark movies’ answer to the question nobody asked, namely what did Mark ..
Smokey and the man, bit Sam Fuller’s Shark! is one of those films where the behind-the-scenes drama often overshadows what ends up on screen. Initially conceived as a thrilling adventure set against the sun-scorched landscapes of the Red Sea, it stars Burt Reynolds as Caine, a gunrunner entangled with a treasure-seeking couple and, naturally, a ..
Jaws meets Godzilla in Peter Benchley’s Creature Peter Benchley’s Creature is a campy dive into the deep end of late ’90s event TV, born from the mind of the man who single-handedly made sharks the stuff of cinematic nightmares with Jaws, this miniseries attempts to channel the same fearsome energy but with a hybrid twist ..
A crappy shark movie by any other name would smell just as fishy By the transitive properties of crappy shark movie budgets, The Requin (also known, more generically, as From Below) pays for its bigger star name by having a much smaller cast but it does innovate in finding a new approach to marooning its ..
Probably the worst bad shark movie I have ever watched There are directors whose names are synonymous with excellence. Spielberg, Scorsese, del Toro. Their names are hallmarks. Their presence on a poster tells audiences there’s quality. And then there’s Qualiana, a name synonymous with Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast and, now, Post Apocalyptic Commando Shark. ..
Greenpeace should campaign to save anyone from watching this movie Shark Huntress is one of those bad shark movies that baits the hook with egregiously misleading poster art and then chums the water with some striking initial cinematography but as soon as we stop filming the scenery and start focussing on the people, it all ..
Up From The Depths is a post traumatic shark drama From The Depths takes the bold step of setting the entire movie *after* the shark attack, which drives the story, has already occurred. Plagued by flashback nightmares and hallucinations, Liz (Angelica Briones) is the sole survivor of a great white shark attack’s toothy embrace. Liz’s ..
You ain’t seen enough hentai to know where this movie is going… Devil Fish is a deliciously dreadful entry in the pantheon of bad shark movies, and it manages to outdo itself in absurdity at nearly every turn. Directed by Lamberto Bava, this Italian rip-off of other Jaws rip-offs attempts to blend horror and science ..
Cinematically, this is a close encounter of the turd kind Shark Encounters of the Third Kind is the latest aquatic abomination from Mark Polonia, the auteur behind such illustrious titles as Sharkenstein and Land Shark. If you’re expecting a seamless blend of Spielbergian wonder and nautical terror, you’ll be sorely disappointed. Instead, prepare yourself for ..
Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast gets its norks out for the sharks Sometimes when I’m curating the latest Shark Weak collection, an exercise that’s the cinematic equivalent of a dog owner clearing up their back yard after an unusually persistently rainy few weeks, I’ll come across something like Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast, a vintage ..
Is there any talent here? Ouija Shark is a film that defies logic, narrative cohesion, and even the basic principles of filmmaking and yet could be described as a cinematic marvel in its own right, a glorious testament to the boundless creativity that emerges when one is unconstrained by talent, budget, or common sense. I ..
Megalodon Rising sinks without a trace Bad shark movies have given rise to several notable franchises, hardly a surprise given it’s a genre that really started with the granddaddy of all bad sequel-spawners, Jaws. We’ve had the increasing noggins of the 2-Headed Shark Attack follow-ups, Deeper Bluer Seas, and the escalating shit storm of the ..
A shark? In Paris? That’s in Seine Something that’s been in short supply so far this Shark Week is fun. Thankfully, here comes Under Paris, Netflix’s latest high-concept wheeze which sees Paris’ reputation as the City of Lights exchanged for the City of Bites as a giant mako shark (makos making another grab for the ..
The Reef: Stalked is a dumbed down do-over of its predecessor Billed as a “spiritual sequel” to 2010’s The Reef by returning director Andrew Traucki, The Reef: Stalked instead raises the shipwreck of the original only to see it sink in entirely similar fashion this time around. When a group of friends set out on ..
Shark Bait is close to being the Platonic ideal of a bad shark movie Shark Bait (also known as Jet Ski but changed presumably so that people would realise there’s a shark in it) sets out its stall as a Spring Break fantasy, opening after the obligatory underwater title sequence on an impossibly curated beach ..
Mako turns the Red Sea red Despite its branding-friendly moniker, the Mako shark has long been runner-up in the shark movie stakes to its more illustrious cousins the Great White and the Bull Shark despite its notability as the fastest shark in the ocean and its fearsome mouthful of particularly pointy teeth. Unfortunately, Mako is ..
Ben Wheatley invests Meg 2 with trenchant satire Hold onto your floaties, folks, because Meg 2: The Trench is rising up from the depths with a titanic sense of the ridiculous as director Ben Wheatley takes the opportunity to transform this Sino-American exercise in corporate synergy into a post-modern self-aware sharkstravaganza that all but punches ..
At last! A bad shark movie by women, for women! Don’t be fooled into thinking there might be something more to Something in the Water than its typical shark schlock set-up would have you believe. Its release into cinemas rather than straight-to-SyFy channel might make you think otherwise, but there isn’t. What’s in the water ..
Santa Jaws brings a bit of festive fin for a Shark Weak 4 Christmas Special SANTA JAWS is a pun so delicious and filled with festive promise that it’s a wonder it took until 2018 for the chum-grinding sharksploitation mill to get around to it. While it shares all the usual hallmarks of its peers: ..
Cruel Jaws ends Shark Weak 4 on a profoundly stupid, deeply ignorant and poorly made low note Directed by notorious Italian filmmaker Bruno Mattei – renowned for repurposing other films’ footage to suit himself – CRUEL JAWS may just be the most tired and badly made JAWS rip-off of all time, making THE LAST SHARK ..