Holmes & Watson (2018) Review

The 1988 Michael Caine/ Ben Kingsley movie “Without A Clue” asked what would happen if Holmes was actually an idiot and Dr Watson was the genius but “Holmes & Watson” dares to ask what if they were both imbeciles, in a crass and witless farce? The answer is excrementary, my dear reader. When the trial…

The Emoji Movie (2017) Review

😡                       Oh, sorry – did you want more than that? Okay. This is a lazy, cynical exercise in filmmaking driven by executive hubris and utter contempt for the audience. Ill-conceived, muddled and creatively bankrupt, Sony have shattered the rock bottom for animated fare in…

They were so preoccupied with whether or not they could (they couldn’t), they didn’t stop to think if they should (they shouldn’t have). Jurassic Shark (2011) #SharkWeak🦈 Review

Another shark movie, another Spielberg pun and it turns out that I didn’t judge “Raiders Of The Lost Shark” harshly enough, because one of its writers should have known better given they directed this errant nonsense some three years earlier. Welcome…to “Jurassic Shark”. When an oil company unwittingly unleashes a prehistoric shark from its icy…

Only God Forgives (2013), which is just as well because I won’t.

Famously divisive at its Cannes press screening, being simultaneously booed by some critics while receiving a standing ovation from others, Nicolas Winding Refn & Ryan Gosling’s follow-up collaboration to “Drive” is an exercise in artistic pretension so abstruse and obfuscatory that it suffocates under the weight of its own pomposity. From the moment the film…