Trailer Park Shark (2017) is not-so great white trailer trash. #SharkWeak3 Review

Trailer Park Shark (2017) is not-so great white trailer trash. #SharkWeak3 Review

By now I’m used to sharksploitation movies being garbage, but “Trailer Park Shark” takes it to a whole new level of Great White trash. Oh, and to save you some time, if you’re thinking of watching this because it ‘stars’ “Sharknado” leading lady Tara Reid, be aware she’s hardly in it at all. When the ..

The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017) Review

The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017) Review

Sometimes, all you need to do is get the right cast in front of the camera and let them do their thing. “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” is one of those times. With the trial of notorious war criminal Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman) desperate for witnesses, the authorities turn to notorious contract killer Darius Kincaid (Samuel L ..

The power of Christ compels you to avoid Shark Exorcist (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

The power of Christ compels you to avoid Shark Exorcist (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

This weird, excruciatingly badly made movie opens on a nun walking through a graveyard while a newscast voiceover reports a local nun accused of murdering and torturing thirteen local boys and girls. It’s one of a number of things the movie talks about but never shows us. But given the quality of what it does ..

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) Review

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) Review

There’s clearly a lot of love for the source material in DreamWorks’ adaptation of Dav Pilkey’s “Captain Underpants” children’s book series. Bright, breezy and unashamedly childish, it’s potty humour fashioned into fantastic family entertainment. George Beard and Harold Hutchins are a pair of imaginative elementary school best friends who like nothing better than pulling pranks ..

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017) Review

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017) Review

There was a howl of outrage heard around the world when plans were first announced to make another “Jumanji” film. Up until then, I don’t think anyone had really been aware of in what high esteem the original – albeit fondly thought of – had been held. Turns out the Robin Williams CG-heavy jungle adventure ..

Ferdinand (2017) Review

Ferdinand (2017) Review

Adapted from Munro Leaf’s beloved 1936 children’s book, Blue Sky Studio’s “Ferdinand” is also a remake of Disney’s 1938 Silly Symphony short of the same story. In light of the proposed acquisition of Fox by Disney, this movie offers an interesting example of the differences between the two studios. Ferdinand (John Cena) is different from ..

Borg vs McEnroe (2017) Review

Borg vs McEnroe (2017) Review

Gripping, insightful and quietly powerful, “Borg vs McEnroe” brings us a thoughtful examination of sporting drive and athletic rivalry at a watershed moment for international tennis. In the run-up to the 1980 Wimbledon Championship, Björn Borg (Sverrir Gudnason) contemplates the possibility that he could become the first person ever to win five consecutive Wimbledon titles ..

Never mind the Galaxy, you wouldn’t trust these Guardians (2017) with a Freddo Frog.

Never mind the Galaxy, you wouldn’t trust these Guardians (2017) with a Freddo Frog.

In “Captain America: Civil War”, when discussing the Sokovia Accords, Vision concedes that ‘Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict breeds catastrophe.’ If the MCU’s strength is undeniable, “Guardians” is the catastrophe. During the Cold War, a secret Soviet Army division called Patriot conducted genetic experiments on citizens, creating mutations with dangerous ..

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2 (2017)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2 (2017)

After a spot of mischievous larceny by Rocket angers their most recent client, Ayesha, High Priestess of The Sovereign People, the Guardians find themselves fleeing from the Sovereign fleet and crash-land on a nearby planet thanks to Star-Lord and Rocket’s squabbling. But their argument is interrupted by the arrival of another ship, piloted by Ego ..

The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) is more than a few bricks short of a full load.

The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) is more than a few bricks short of a full load.

The latest entry in the Lego feature film franchise is also its most blatantly cynical toy commercial, offering little in return for your forked over ticket money other than a needlessly starry cast, a weak storyline and a massive middle finger to fans of the original “Lego Ninjago” cartoon series. When evil Lord Garmadon (Justin ..

Trolls Holiday (2017) Review

Trolls Holiday (2017) Review

Opening with a bright and cheery fuzzy felt scrapbook retelling of the story of the “Trolls” movie, “Trolls Holiday” picks up where that story left off, with the Bergens seeking a replacement for Trollstice. When Queen Poppy (Anna Kendrick) realises the Bergens now have no holiday, she’s determined to set things straight. With her usual ..

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)

Following his adventure with the Avengers in Germany, Peter Parker (Tom Holland) finds himself back in Queens, New York, balancing his school days with nights spent patrolling the neighbourhood as Spider-Man. Mentored by Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr), Peter’s reluctant to return to the small-scale crime fighting he’s confronted with in his own neck of ..

Land Shark (2017) bites. #SharkWeak4🦈 Review

Land Shark (2017) bites. #SharkWeak4🦈 Review

There are, broadly speaking, two types of bad shark movies. Those that are professionally yet ineptly made and those that are the work of dedicated – if not necessarily talented – amateurs. LAND SHARK is definitely one of the latter. Written and, apparently, directed by Mark Polonia (despite plentiful evidence to the contrary), this nonsensical ..

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge (2017) Review

Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge (2017) Review

Dead men may tell no tales but dead horses are still ripe for flogging it seems as Disney cranks out yet another sequel to the surprise 2003 smash hit based on a veteran theme park attraction with fifth instalment “Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge”. When a down-on-his-luck Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) trades his precious ..

The Limehouse Golem (2017) Review

The Limehouse Golem (2017) Review

Secret and lies haunt the cobbled London streets of The Limehouse Golem On the surface, “The Limehouse Golem” seems like just another Victorian murder mystery, a Sherlockian tribute act riffing off the legend of Jack The Ripper but it’s what beneath the surface, behind the façade that drives the narrative and gives it a thematic ..

Ghost In The Shell (2017) is mostly shell, offering little in the way of spirit.

Ghost In The Shell (2017) is mostly shell, offering little in the way of spirit.

If it wasn’t for the overblown ‘controversy’ over casting, the live-action remake of “Ghost In The Shell” might have struggled to generate much attention at all. In the not too distant future, cybernetic enhancements are almost universal, blurring the lines between humanity and robots. Major (Scarlett Johansson), a human mind inside an entirely robotic body, ..

Shin Godzilla (2017) Review

Shin Godzilla (2017) Review

Filming the monster only from the knee down would have been a gutsy move. The first ever Japanese production to completely reboot the venerable monster’s movie series, “Shin Godzilla” is so called because it’s deliberately ambiguous (written in katakana instead of kanji) and can be interpreted as ‘new’, ‘god’ or ‘evolved’ and not, disappointingly, because ..

The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (2017) Review

The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (2017) Review

Colin Farrell faces Rosemary’s Sophie’s Choice in “The Killing Of A Sacred Deer”, the latest movie from cinematic provoc-auteur Yorgos Lanthimos. Blending classic Greek tragedy, existential horror, psychological drama and medical thriller, it’s a challengingly twisted mystery, an Art-“House, M.D.” Dr Steven Murphy (Colin Farrell), a renowned cardiovascular surgeon lives a seemingly perfect life with ..

The Boss Baby (2017) Review

The Boss Baby (2017) Review

Not since Disney/ Pixar’s “Cars” has an animated movie presented such an incoherent and illogical fictional world as “The Boss Baby” does. Facing an existential threat, Baby Corp sends an undercover operative (Alec Baldwin) to live with the Templeton family to find out what the Templeton parents know about Puppy Co’s plan to launch a ..

Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation (2018) Review

Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation (2018) Review

Legendary animator Genndy Tartakovsky returns for a third time to bring us the further adventures of Dracula and his growing family. Although he’s often spoken about stepping away from the series, we should be thankful he’s stayed onboard because it’s his involvement that keeps this amiably undemanding series from sliding inexorably towards mediocrity. Mistaking her ..

It’ll take more than a few bandages to fix what ails The Mummy (2017)

It’ll take more than a few bandages to fix what ails The Mummy (2017)

Released in the UK the same day another leader saw plans to increase her power and turn the world to her will falter, “The Mummy” suggests Universal’s “Dark Universe” gambit will meet a similarly ignominious fate. Again. When solider-of-fortune Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) stumbles across an Egyptian tomb after an airstrike, he unwittingly releases the ..

Detroit (2017) is a timely, powerful but ultimately hollow experience. #Review

With serendipitous timing and real world resonance that borders on opportunistic, “Detroit” arrives in cinemas to emphasise the perilous nature of present day America and it’s far too recent shameful past. Detroit, 1967. The city is in the grip of growing discontent which is spilling over into racially-charged rioting driven by large scale disaffection and ..

T2 Trainspotting (2017) Review

T2 Trainspotting (2017) Review

Choose a sequel. Choose mounting a follow-up to an iconic 1996 film and hope that the audience cares. Choose revisiting old favourite characters to see what new shenanigans they’re up to And choose watching history repeat itself. Choose looking to the past instead of embracing a future. Choose Renton, Sickboy and Begbie unchanged but older ..

Power Rangers (2017) Review

Power Rangers (2017) Review

I was about ten years too old to really get into the Power Rangers during their 1990s heydey. My formative Japanese super-team of enhanced teenagers came in the animated form of “Battle Of The Planets”. In many ways, “Battle Of The Planets” set the template for “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers”, in being appropriated from a ..

American Made (2017) Review

American Made (2017) Review

If you thought off-the-books, quasi-legal internecine government shenanigans were a practice brought to the White House by a tangerine reality TV buffoon, wait until you get a load of AMERICAN MADE and find out what was going on the last time a former celebrity became commander in chief. Telling the mostly true story of Barry ..

Brigsby Bear (2017) is a great, big reassuring hug of a movie. #Review

Brigsby Bear (2017) is a great, big reassuring hug of a movie. #Review

A beautifully understated indie dramedy, “Brigsby Bear”, directed by Dave McCary and produced by The Lonely Island, is a heartfelt and poignant paean to the importance and power of fandom. When James (Kyle Mooney) finds out that his whole life has been a lie concocted by his kidnappers Ted and April Mitchum (Mark Hamill & ..