The Stuff (1985) is young, dumb and full of…disappointment

Larry Cohen’s heavy-handed consumer satire has long held a quasi-mythical place in my movie subconscious. Although I never got around to watching it in the late eighties/ early nineties when I was going through my horror movie phase, it achieved a kind of legendary status thanks to its ubiquity on the trailers which preceded both…

I can’t say I was particularly grabbed by Ghoulies (1984)

It’s something of a curiosity of transatlantic temporal mechanics that this cheap and nasty “Gremlins” rip-off actually reached the UK a month before Joe Dante’s Christmas classic but don’t let that fool you into thinking “Ghoulies” is a worthwhile watch. It’s not, despite what your heart may tell you from the porcelain-focussed poster (a marketing…

6-Headed Shark Attack (2018) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

Skulking in the shadows of the mode headline-grabbing “Sharknado” series, another franchise has been chomping its way through people’s precious time and now finds itself on its fourth instalment and sixth head. “6-Headed Shark Attack” continues the series’ strong theme of having absolutely no connection to the previous movies save for one-upping the headcount and…

Trailer Park Shark (2017) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

By now I’m used to sharksploitation movies being garbage, but “Trailer Park Shark” takes it to a whole new level of Great White trash. Oh, and to save you some time, if you’re thinking of watching this because it ‘stars’ “Sharknado” leading lady Tara Reid, be aware she’s hardly in it at all. When the…

Super Shark (2011) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

Imbued with special powers by a toxic waste spill, mild-mannered ocean dweller Shark Kent dedicates himself to using his newfound abilities to fight for truth, justice and…nope. As fun as that movie would be, “Super Shark” is just another killer shark, bikinis and bites B-movie. It does, at least, open excitingly in media res with…

Sharkenstein (2016) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

In the final days of World War II, a secret experiment to weaponise sharks is shut down by the Third Reich and thought destroyed but sixty years later, a small seaside town finds itself under siege by a mysterious bloodthirsty monster – one assembled from the reanimated parts of the world’s most ferocious species of…