UglyDolls (2019) ain’t got no alibi.

A little bit of “Toy Story”, a little bit of “Monsters Inc” and a whole lot of cynical box-ticking does not an animated classic make. In the adorable fabric world of Uglyville, the Moxy (Kelly Clarkson) yearns for the day when she will be chosen by a child of her very own to be loved…

Ma (2019) doesn’t need to spike your drink to put you to sleep.

The most horrifying thing about this lukewarm all-filler, no-killer thriller is how much on-screen talent is wasted in telling its flaccid, predictable and profoundly stupid story. When Maggie (Diana Silvers) is moved back to her mum’s hometown, she’s quick to make new friends and starts hanging out with them outside the local liquor store, hoping…

Dracula vs Frankenstein (1971) Dractober Review

With the aesthetics of a cheap seventies porno and the production values of an even cheaper seventies porno, Starting life as a biker gang movie before being having Frankenstein’s monster add and then finally having Dracula added as an afterthought in footage shot years later, “Dracula vs Frankenstein” is an even more patched together mongrel…

Atomic Shark (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

There’s no denying the ambition of this frankly barmy entry in the sharksploitation oeuvre, opening as it does with an ominous montage of underwater scenes intercut with Cold War newsreel footage and Robert Oppenheimer quotes. It’s the closest we get to a real explanation of how the shark became nuclear, so just go with it….

3-Headed Shark Attack (2015) #SharkWeak2 Review

A 3-headed shark suddenly attacks a group of partying teenagers, killing all of them except one who was on a buoy while the rest of the teens were at the beach. The shark then proceeds to attack the Persephone, an underwater research facility studying the Pacific Garbage Patch. Some of the research personnel manage to…