Zemeckis’ real life toy story lacks buzz. Welcome To Marwen (2018) Review

Inspired by the true story of Mark Hogancamp who, having suffered a horrific attack, finds solace and support in an elaborate fantasy art installation, Robert Zemeckis sets out to convey a poignant story of the healing power of art and the dangers of the artist becoming too enraptured by the art itself but never once … Continue reading Zemeckis’ real life toy story lacks buzz. Welcome To Marwen (2018) Review

The Princess Switch (2018) Review

As Netflix continues to make its big push to become the new Hallmark, a slew of cookie-cutter Christmas movies have started appearing on the streaming network. “The Princess Switch” takes the well-worn tale of “The Prince And The Pauper” and dusts it with the seasonal covering of icing sugar in the form of a fictional … Continue reading The Princess Switch (2018) Review

Aquaman (2018) Review

Imagine, ten years ago, if someone had told you the future of the DC cinematic universe would rest on the shoulders of…Aquaman. Yeah, that Aquaman, the character who had only really made it into pop culture consciousness as a fish-wrangling joke. Fresh from the, if not triumph, then at least plummet-arresting crunching gear change of … Continue reading Aquaman (2018) Review

Doctor Who: The Battle Of Ranskoor Av Kolos (S11E10) Review

*SPOILERS* Shirt watch: blue. Well, here we are: the season finale, the capstone to the 13th Doctor’s first set of adventures. Time to find out what ‘the timeless child’ was all about, time to see all those dangling plot threads (racist from the future, Jack Robertson) come together, time to find out if the blue … Continue reading Doctor Who: The Battle Of Ranskoor Av Kolos (S11E10) Review

Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018) Review

You may think it’s a bit too early for a “Ready Player One” remake but Disney certainly don’t as they blend that movie’s exploitative nostalgia with a shameless approach to product placement so cynical, it would make “The Emoji Movie” blush. When Ralph (John C Reilly) accidentally breaks an important part of ‘Sugar Rush’, the … Continue reading Ralph Breaks The Internet (2018) Review

Suspiria (2018) Review

It takes nerve and vision to remake something as cinematically revered as “Suspiria” so there’s no doubting director Luca Guadagnino’s ambition and confidence. In reimagining the sacred, Guadagnino manages to take the bones of the original and reshape them into something disturbingly new and yet primally familiar. A darkness lurks at the heart of the … Continue reading Suspiria (2018) Review

Assassination Nation (2018) Review

A screeching, graphic howl of incendiary exasperation, “Assassination Nation” adds its voice to the growing chorus of furious condemnation of a society dominated by toxic masculinity, religious hypocrisy and venal depravity overseen by the ever-present spectre of a pussy-grabbing enabler-in-chief, showing in no uncertain terms what will happen when pussy grabs back. The town of … Continue reading Assassination Nation (2018) Review

The Grinch (2018) Review

Prematurely Christmassy – and I don’t mean that in a Grinchy way – Illumination’s take on “How The Grinch Stole Christmas!” is as warm and sweet and comforting as a hot mug of cocoa that’s mostly marshmallow. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it definitely feels like this is a movie that will find … Continue reading The Grinch (2018) Review

Overlord (2018) Review

In the build-up to D-Day, Private Boyce (Jovan Adepo) and Corporal Ford (Wyatt Russell) believe they’re the only survivors of an ill-fated paratrooper mission behind enemy lines to knock out a radar jamming post so the Allies can provide air support for the beach landings. They eventually meet up with a few more survivors of … Continue reading Overlord (2018) Review

The Nutcracker And The Four Realms (2018) Review

“The Nutcracker And The Four Realms” is chocolate box art lavishly brought to over-saturated, over-sugared, overly decorated life on the big screen. And, like the contents of that box of chocolates, there are moments of sublime deliciousness, a few over-sweet gooey confections and even the occasional nut. It’s hard to resist all the tempting treats … Continue reading The Nutcracker And The Four Realms (2018) Review

Love At First Bite (1979) Dractober Review

There’s something inherently funny about the idea of an individual as famously permatanned as George Hamilton portraying the notoriously sun-shy Count Dracula but it’s not quite enough to lift this dated and lightweight comedy above the ordinary. Evicted from his ancestral Castle by the Communist government of Romania who plan to turn it into a … Continue reading Love At First Bite (1979) Dractober Review

Halloween (2018) Review

Seeing as I first watched and reviewed the original 1978 “Halloween” for last year’s #MonthOfSpooks, it makes sense that I’d pick up this one for this year’s, especially as I still haven’t got around to seeing any of the other “Halloween” movies so this franchise timeline – the fifth so far – is the only … Continue reading Halloween (2018) Review

Vampira (1974) Dractober Review

Absolutely not a film to be judged by today’s neo-puritan standards, “Vampira” (released as "Old Dracula" in the US to cash in on the recent success of "Young Frankenstein") is steeped in the saucy, cheeky and, yes, casually racist and sexist humour of the early seventies but taken on its own terms, it has a … Continue reading Vampira (1974) Dractober Review

Dracula: Prince Of Darkness (1966) Dractober Review

Previously on Dracula... Having thoroughly bested the Count in his own library, Van Helsing (Peter Cushing) takes his leave of Castle Dracula and ten years go past (because we’re ignoring the Dracula-less “Brides Of Dracula”. The locals still cling to their fear of vampires and Father Sandor (the excellent Andrew Keir) prevents them from disposing … Continue reading Dracula: Prince Of Darkness (1966) Dractober Review

Son Of Dracula (1943) Dractober Review

Dractober’s keeping it in the family as we follow up “Dracula’s Daughter” with another story in a filial vein. Swapping the mountains of Carpathia for the swamps of the Deep South, Count Alucard (Lon Chaney Jr) arrives to visit Dark Oaks, the plantation owned by the wealthy Colonel Caldwell (George Irving) and his two daughters, … Continue reading Son Of Dracula (1943) Dractober Review

Dracula’s Daughter (1936) Dractober Review

Two days into Dractober, and we’re still waiting for the man himself to appear. Picking up exactly where “Dracula” (1931) left off, “Dracula’s Daughter” sees the mysterious Countess Marya Zaleska (Gloria Holden) seek out the assistance of Dr Jeffrey Garth (Otto Kruger) to cure her of the curse of vampirism, bequeathed to her by the … Continue reading Dracula’s Daughter (1936) Dractober Review

The House With The Clock In Its Walls (2018) #MonthOfSpooks Review

An unexpectedly family-friendly detour from gore-meister Eli Roth, the spookiest thing about “The House With A Clock In Its Walls” is that there’s a Jack Black-starring “Goosebumps” sequel coming out this year and this isn’t it. Instead, it’s an adaptation of the novel by John Bellairs telling the story of  Lewis Barnavelt (Owen Vaccaro) who, … Continue reading The House With The Clock In Its Walls (2018) #MonthOfSpooks Review

Moonwalker (1988) Review

Last Christmas, a friend of the family gave us four tickets for the touring show “Forever Jackson” featuring Michael Jackson impersonator Robin Parsons, because Mrs Craggus has long been a fan of the ‘King Of Pop’. The show’s a lot of fun and Parsons pretty much nails his Jackson impersonation (as long as you don’t … Continue reading Moonwalker (1988) Review

Any Major Dude (2017) Review

Colin Combes (Scott Brindle), 42-year-old gardening journalist, is staring down the barrel of a locked and loaded mid-life crisis. He’s starting to suspect his wife, Freya (Angelique Fronike) still has feelings for her ex, the aging pop star Gordon ‘Midge’ Midgely (Rob Marsden) and as if that wasn’t enough, he’s due for a colonoscopy to … Continue reading Any Major Dude (2017) Review

Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation (2018) Review

Legendary animator Genndy Tartakovsky returns for a third time to bring us the further adventures of Dracula and his growing family. Although he’s often spoken about stepping away from the series, we should be thankful he’s stayed onboard because it’s his involvement that keeps this amiably undemanding series from sliding inexorably towards mediocrity. Mistaking her … Continue reading Hotel Transylvania 3: A Monster Vacation (2018) Review

Christopher Robin (2018) Review

Disney’s latest live-action reinterpretation of its hallowed back catalogue is also easily one of its most muddled, despite the fact it's treading a very similar path to the one “Hook” forged nearly thirty years ago. All grown up, Christopher Robin (Ewan McGregor) is married with a daughter yet spends all his time at work, under … Continue reading Christopher Robin (2018) Review

The Reef (2010) #SharkWeak2 Review

The thing I love about sharksploitation movies is they’re generally fun. Fun is a big part of the appeal, even when – or maybe especially when – they’re bad. “The Reef” is not a bad movie, but it's also definitely not a fun movie. When a group of friends find themselves stranded on a capsized … Continue reading The Reef (2010) #SharkWeak2 Review

Shark Swarm (2008) #SharkWeak2 Review

Too short to be a miniseries but too long, really, to be a movie, this Hallmark production weighs in at a whale shark-esque two hours and forty minutes, which is a long time to endure a bad shark movie, so it’s a good thing this one is – believe it or not – actually halfway … Continue reading Shark Swarm (2008) #SharkWeak2 Review

It Came From The Desert (2018) Review

Released on DVD tomorrow and based on the video game of the same name, this cheerful and peppy indie adaptation makes the most of its limited resources and makes a credible pitch for best video game movie adaptation since “Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle”. When a group of teenage motocross contenders head to the New … Continue reading It Came From The Desert (2018) Review

Ocean’s 8 (2018) Review

Sisters are doing it for themselves, specifically Danny Ocean’s sister Debbie (Sandra Bullock), in this affably slick but lightweight heist thriller, the fourth in the modern ‘Ocean’ series and the first not to be directed by Steven Soderbergh. Released from prison after being stitched up by her ex-boyfriend, Debbie Ocean has not wasted the past … Continue reading Ocean’s 8 (2018) Review

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) Review

*SPOILERS, I GUESS (IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE TRAILERS)*I’ve long nurtured a theory about the Jurassic movie series, which is the secret ingredient to a really good “Jurassic Park” film isn’t the dinosaurs, it’s the park. “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom” confirms the theory by breaking the deadlock 3 to 2. The dinosaurs are the ‘wow!’ … Continue reading Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) Review

Safe – Series Review

Tom Delaney is a successful British surgeon who was recently widowed, leaving himself to bring up his two daughters who are becoming increasingly distanced since the tragic loss of their Mother. When Tom’s eldest daughter Jenny goes missing, whilst assisting Police in their search he discovers an intricate and tragic secret that may hold the … Continue reading Safe – Series Review

Every Day (2018) Review

Adapted from the novel by David Levithan, “Any Day” may, at first glance, look like your run of the mill young adult schmaltzy romance but lurking behind that façade is a sweet and surprisingly affecting sci-fi romance built around the charismatic performance of lead Angourie Rice. It also marks the resurrection of Orion Pictures, the … Continue reading Every Day (2018) Review

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

When his cover is blown thanks to an accident in a bottling plant, Doctor Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) returns to the United States to seek the help of a mysterious ‘Mr Blue’ who may hold the key to undoing his Gamma poisoning. But General Ross (William Hurt) is hot on his trail, along with Emile … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Duck Duck Goose (2018) Review

A good voice cast and beautifully animated backdrops of the stunning geography of China are enough to lift this undemanding animated animal fable above the flock. When reckless goose Peng (Jim Gaffigan) passes up the chance to migrate with the rest of the flock, he’s left to fend for himself when an injured wing means … Continue reading Duck Duck Goose (2018) Review

Zumbo’s Just Desserts Season One Review

Reality TV is an odd fit for a streaming service like Netflix, but it must help fill up those ‘original’ content quotas to buy up international shows for markets they were never broadcast in. So it is with Australian Willy Wonka-inspired “Great British Bake Off” knock-off “Zumbo’s Just Desserts”. Headed up by celebrated Australian pâtissier … Continue reading Zumbo’s Just Desserts Season One Review

Channel Zero Season Two: No-End House Review

In this age of box sets and binge marathons, one of the advantages of an anthology series is there’s no need to have seen season one to jump aboard season two because each is a standalone story. There is one actor who does return from last season but it’s not quite in the same league … Continue reading Channel Zero Season Two: No-End House Review

Citizen X (1995) Review

An HBO made for TV movie from 1995, “Citizen X” offers a fascinating glimpse behind the crumbling Iron Curtain of the 1980s, into a society where political corruption and ideological hubris led to the deaths of dozens of young men and women at the hands of the Soviet Union’s first identified serial killer. When a … Continue reading Citizen X (1995) Review

Tad The Lost Explorer And The Secret Of King Midas (2018) Review

It may provoke a momentary pause of incredulity to accommodate the fact Paramount have passed on the international distribution of Alex Garland’s “Annihilation” yet they’re happy to push this movie out around the globe, but raiding all the lost snark aside, there’s at least some justification for their involvement given the sheer number of Indiana … Continue reading Tad The Lost Explorer And The Secret Of King Midas (2018) Review

Status Update (2018) Review

There’s not exactly a long and distinguished history of films based on mobile apps, but that didn’t dissuade the makers of “Status Update” from stepping into the cultural crater left by “The Emoji Movie” and having another try. When his parents separate and he has to move three thousand miles away from his Californian roots … Continue reading Status Update (2018) Review

All The Money In The World (2018) Review

It's been almost impossible to avoid the publicity surrounding Ridley Scott's polished-to-a-dull-sheen biographical crime drama "All The Money In The World" thanks to the scandal which engulfed its would-be star after allegations of his sexual predation came to light and Scott's swift decision to excise the actor from the movie and reshoot all of his … Continue reading All The Money In The World (2018) Review

Mirror, mirror on wall, why does Discovery have hardly any crew at all? Star Trek: Discovery (S1E10) Despite Yourself Review

Previously, on “Star Trek: Discovery”: This; This; And this; This too; And this; Not forgetting this; And of course, this; Also this; And finally this. *SPOILERS* And…we’re back. It’s been, what? Nine weeks since we left our heroes stranded amidst Klingon debris in a mysterious galactic location and you know what? I’d be lying if … Continue reading Mirror, mirror on wall, why does Discovery have hardly any crew at all? Star Trek: Discovery (S1E10) Despite Yourself Review

Olaf’s Frozen Adventure (2017) Review

In the United States, “Olaf’s Frozen Adventure” has been released along with “Coco” but, as we have to wait an extra couple of months here in the UK, we at least get the opportunity to watch this latest Disney short for the Kids’ Club ticket price of £3 (or thereabouts) plus the opportunity (should you … Continue reading Olaf’s Frozen Adventure (2017) Review

Lazer Team 2 (2017) Review

Watching “Lazer Team 2”, I was very strongly reminded of seeing Quentin Tarantino’s seminal crime drama “Pulp Fiction” in the cinema for the first time. I was bursting for a pee during the last half hour of that, too. A few years on from the events of “Lazer Team” and the team has gone their … Continue reading Lazer Team 2 (2017) Review

Justice League (2017) Review

Wherever they may be, I like to think James Whale and Mary Shelley are having a chuckle and enjoying the brouhaha surrounding “Justice League”, the latest entry in the self-beleaguered DCEU. It’s a Frankenstein’s monster of a movie; assembled from an assortment of different parts and bolted together in the hope that it will come … Continue reading Justice League (2017) Review

Pokémon The Movie: I Choose You! (2017) Review

In cinemas for an extremely limited theatrical run, the 20th Pokémon movie takes us all the way back to the beginning, retelling the origin of how Ash Ketchum, Pokémon Master bottler, and Pikachu, the world’s most powerful unevolved electric mouse came together. Ash Ketchum of Pallet Town wakes late on the morning he is due to … Continue reading Pokémon The Movie: I Choose You! (2017) Review

Happy Death Day (2017) #MonthOfSpooks Review

For my final #MonthOfSpooks review of the year, I went to see one of the few horror movies which have been released in cinemas for Halloween this year, meaning I started with 1931’s “Dracula” and finished with 2017’s “Happy Death Day”. I ended up watching this film an hour or so after watching the latest episode … Continue reading Happy Death Day (2017) #MonthOfSpooks Review

I Am Alone (2015) #MonthOfSpooks Review

Hello cupcakes! Today I’m going to share with you my thoughts on indie zombie flick “I Am Alone”.  Bottom line with this film is I really enjoyed it.  It’s not perfect, but it’s well worth a watch. When an unknown virus begins infecting the local population almost instantly, the CDC uncovers footage of one man, … Continue reading I Am Alone (2015) #MonthOfSpooks Review

The Road To Ragnarok: Hulk Vs (2009) Review

Marvel has long lagged behind DC when it comes to animated fare, both in terms of features and TV series. This grudge match between the God of Thunder and the Green Goliath, forming part of a double bill with “Hulk vs Wolverine” (unfortunately, the three of them don’t get together to duke it out at … Continue reading The Road To Ragnarok: Hulk Vs (2009) Review

My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) Review

My Little Pony trots back to the big screen with a cinematic outing based on the wildly successful (and surprisingly cross-generational) ‘Friendship Is Magic’ incarnation of the toy franchise. As she is busy preparing for the Friendship festival, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s efforts are interrupted by the arrival of Tempest Shadow (Emily Blunt), a broken-horned unicorn … Continue reading My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) Review

The Ritual (2017) #MonthOfSpooks Review

A quick, contemporary #MonthOfSpooks detour, looking at “The Ritual”, released in UK cinemas on Friday 13th. Based on the novel by Adam Nevill, the movie takes us into the woods for a chilling supernatural survival horror that would put even Bear Grylls off his grubs. When a group of friends’ lad’s night out ends in tragedy … Continue reading The Ritual (2017) #MonthOfSpooks Review

Wordy title alert! Star Trek: Discovery – The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not For The Lamb’s Cry (S1E04) Review

*SPOILERS* Don’t you just love the episode title? Very “For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky”. Sadly nobody actually says the episode title but it’d be tricky to drop it into casual everyday conversation unless, I guess, the conversation started with ‘What would be an overly-florid way of summarising Lorca’s command … Continue reading Wordy title alert! Star Trek: Discovery – The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not For The Lamb’s Cry (S1E04) Review

Blade Runner (1982) #Review

Back in the early eighties, giddy on “Star Wars”, I’d picked up my visual scanning for any other movies which starred my favourite heroes. “Hanover Street” cruelly tricked me – I mean, it had “Han” in the title and starred Harrison Ford so it must be great right? Not for this 8-year-old “Star Wars” fan. … Continue reading Blade Runner (1982) #Review

Spoof: Based On A True Movie (2017) Review

Once in a while, down in the depths of Netflix or Amazon Prime, you come across something so odd looking, it would be a dereliction of duty not to watch it. Or maybe that’s just me? In any event, it happened to me today while browsing for something to watch on Amazon Prime, I came … Continue reading Spoof: Based On A True Movie (2017) Review

Red alert! It’s my Star Trek: Discovery – Battle At The Binary Stars (S1E02) Review

*SPOILERS* Well, here we are after the first flush of rekindling my romance with Trek. Can “Star Trek: Discovery” manage the ‘tricky second date’? TL;DR version? Yes…and no. With Burnham’s mutiny halted, Georgiou confines her to the bridge and awaits Starfleet reinforcements. When her attempt to communicate peacefully with the Klingons results in the Klingons … Continue reading Red alert! It’s my Star Trek: Discovery – Battle At The Binary Stars (S1E02) Review