Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) Review

Starting with a train heist which plays out like Disney sinking all their money into a live-action remake of “Toy Story 3”, the third and final instalment of “The Maze Runner” trilogy starts with enough energy and inventiveness that it almost makes you forget it’s been three years since “The Scorch Trials”, thanks to an … Continue reading Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) Review

Black Panther (2018) Review

On the eve of the Infinity War, it’s a demonstration of Marvel’s confidence and courage that they’re prepared to step out of their main narrative to bring us this sumptuous, dazzling and vibrant action adventure movie that has a lot to say not just about the world as the MCU shows it but the real … Continue reading Black Panther (2018) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Will You Take My Hand? (S1E15) Review

*SPOILERS* I’d be lying if I said I was boldly going in to the season finale. The going has been pretty rough at times and with a series that’s proved itself so inept at delivering payoffs to its (often admittedly impressive) setups, part of me dreaded the thought of what such a series would do … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Will You Take My Hand? (S1E15) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – The War Without, The War Within (S1E14) Review

*SPOILERS* Oh man, have you seen “The Cloverfield Paradox”? No, of course not because Monday night is “Star Trek: Discovery” night! As we learned last week, the USS Discovery has been missing for nine months and the baby of destiny that’s gestated in that time is an imminent Klingon victory. While they wait to make … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – The War Without, The War Within (S1E14) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – What’s Past Is Prologue (S1E13) Review

*SPOILERS* By this point, “Star Trek: Discovery” has used more quotes as titles than you could shake a spear at (it’s also batting way above average in getting characters to announce the episode title in dialogue) and after last week’s dip into the Scottish play, this week’s is lifted from “The Tempest”: ‘What’s Past Is … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – What’s Past Is Prologue (S1E13) Review

The Commuter (2018) Review

Mrs Craggus has a recurring complaint about Liam Neeson, specifically that in many (she says all) of his roles, he just happens to be the exactly skilled person the plot needs. When his daughter is kidnapped, he has that ‘special set of skills’, when his commercial flight is threatened by terrorists, it turns out he’s … Continue reading The Commuter (2018) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Vaulting Ambition (S1E12) Review

*SPOILERS* The ambition may be vaulting, but it’s certainly not boundless as “Star Trek: Discovery” brings us an episode that’s barely thirty-eight minutes long (including recap). Still, to rewind a bit from ‘vaulting ambition’, if it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly. Unfortunately, this is “Star Trek: Discovery” and … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Vaulting Ambition (S1E12) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – The Wolf Inside (S1E11) Review

*SPOILERS* Still stranded in the Mirror Universe, Burnham, Lorca and Tyler remain under cover on the ISS Shenzhou while on Discovery, Tilly and Saru deal with Stamets’ deteriorating condition. The episode may be titled “The Wolf Inside” but the latest episode of “Star Trek: Discovery” seems more interested in taking us on a foxtrot. This … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – The Wolf Inside (S1E11) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Despite Yourself (S1E10) Review

Previously, on “Star Trek: Discovery”: This; This; And this; This too; And this; Not forgetting this; And of course, this; Also this; And finally this. *SPOILERS*And…we’re back. It’s been, what? Nine weeks since we left our heroes stranded amidst Klingon debris in a mysterious galactic location and you know what? I’d be lying if I … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Despite Yourself (S1E10) Review

Bright (2017) Review

There are times when you just need to take a step back and acknowledge that a paragon has been reached and there's absolutely nothing you can contribute, no new perspective or trenchant insight you can add to what's already been done that would move it even a nanometer closer to perfection. So it is with … Continue reading Bright (2017) Review

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017) Review

There was a howl of outrage heard around the world when plans were first announced to make another “Jumanji” film. Up until then, I don’t think anyone had really been aware of in what high esteem the original – albeit fondly thought of – had been held. Turns out the Robin Williams CG-heavy jungle adventure … Continue reading Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017) Review

Lazer Team 2 (2017) Review

Watching “Lazer Team 2”, I was very strongly reminded of seeing Quentin Tarantino’s seminal crime drama “Pulp Fiction” in the cinema for the first time. I was bursting for a pee during the last half hour of that, too. A few years on from the events of “Lazer Team” and the team has gone their … Continue reading Lazer Team 2 (2017) Review

Justice League (2017) Review

Wherever they may be, I like to think James Whale and Mary Shelley are having a chuckle and enjoying the brouhaha surrounding “Justice League”, the latest entry in the self-beleaguered DCEU. It’s a Frankenstein’s monster of a movie; assembled from an assortment of different parts and bolted together in the hope that it will come … Continue reading Justice League (2017) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Into The Forest I Go (S1E09) Review

Apologies for the delay in getting this review out there, but as I was writing, it started out as one thing and sort became something else as I went along. Not unlike “Star Trek: Discovery”, actually, but we’ll get to that in due time. In the meantime, let’s go into the woods today, we’re sure … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Into The Forest I Go (S1E09) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum (S1E08) Review

*SPOILERS* If you type the title of this week’s episode into Google Translate, you get “If you want peace, prepare Geller”, but you can quash those fanfic dreams of the Discovery crew encountering the cast of “Friends” – this episode is all about confirming that any suspicions you might be harbouring about Ash Tyler are … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum (S1E08) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Magic To Make The Sanest Man Go Mad (S1E07) Review

*SPOILERS* Previously, on “Star Trek: Discovery”: Holy shit, do you think Lorca knew the rendezvous was a trap and saw it as a way to avoid being relieved of command? Is Ash Tyler a Klingon imposter? One so sophisticated that he’s fooled every conceivable process, procedure and device on the ship? And what’s the deal … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Magic To Make The Sanest Man Go Mad (S1E07) Review

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Review

Seventeen films in, you’d forgive Marvel for resting on their laurels but there’s no sign of fatigue as Marvel closes out its Thor trilogy with “Thor: Ragnarok”. Driven by recurring dreams of the destruction of Asgard, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) allows himself to be captured by fire demon Surtur in order to pre-empt and prevent Ragnarok. … Continue reading Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Review

The Road To Ragnarok: Planet Hulk (2010) Review

Our road to Ragnarok concludes with an adventure which doesn’t feature Thor but still provides a great deal of material and inspiration for the forthcoming MCU movie: “Planet Hulk”. With the Hulk’s rampages becoming more and more dangerous, the Illuminati decided to exile Hulk to a peaceful, barren world in a spacecraft. However, the Hulk … Continue reading The Road To Ragnarok: Planet Hulk (2010) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Lethe (S1E06) Review

*SPOILERS* Fresh from last week’s shocking revelation that white male privilege is still alive and kicking in the 23rd Century (Lorca loses his starship, kills his entire crew rather than let them be captured and is rewarded with command of Starfleet’s most advanced experimental secret weapon while Burnham withholds information from her Captain, disobeys an … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Lethe (S1E06) Review

The Road To Ragnarok: Hulk Vs (2009) Review

Marvel has long lagged behind DC when it comes to animated fare, both in terms of features and TV series. This grudge match between the God of Thunder and the Green Goliath, forming part of a double bill with “Hulk vs Wolverine” (unfortunately, the three of them don’t get together to duke it out at … Continue reading The Road To Ragnarok: Hulk Vs (2009) Review

The Road To Ragnarok: The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988) Review

Way, way back before 2012’s “Avengers Assemble”, The Hulk and Thor came face to face in “The Incredible Hulk Returns”, the first in a trilogy of TV movies reviving the much-loved show. David Banner (Bill Bixby) has been living quietly, without the emergence of the Hulk, as Dr David Bannion, a research scientist at an … Continue reading The Road To Ragnarok: The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988) Review

Geostorm (2017) Review

Imagine if you took the MacGuffin from “Highlander 2: The Quickening” and gave it to the Kansas State Board of Education to reframe it using their expertise in science before summarising it in crayon on a children’s menu placemat and you’ll be pretty close to how I imagine the pitch meeting for “Geostorm” went. That … Continue reading Geostorm (2017) Review

Descendants 2 (2017) Review

Stretching the definition of ‘Original’ almost to breaking point, Disney Original Movie “Descendants 2” takes us back to the world where all the Disney Classics have been reimagined and remixed into a glossy tween fantasy soap opera. As Mal (Dove Cameron) struggles to acclimatise to a life of being good, back on the Isle of … Continue reading Descendants 2 (2017) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Choose Your Pain (S1E05) Review

*SPOILERS* There’s plenty to chew over in this week’s cold open but chew it well because you might choke on what follows in the rest of the episode. Having been called in by Starfleet Command to be told off for doing exactly what he was ordered to do, Lorca finds his journey back to the … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Choose Your Pain (S1E05) Review

The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) Review

The latest entry in the Lego feature film franchise is also its most blatantly cynical toy commercial, offering little in return for your forked over ticket money other than a needlessly starry cast, a weak storyline and a massive middle finger to fans of the original cartoon series. When evil Lord Garmadon (Justin Theroux) launches … Continue reading The Lego Ninjago Movie (2017) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not For The Lamb’s Cry (S1E04) Review

*SPOILERS* Don’t you just love the episode title? Very “For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Sky”. Sadly nobody actually says the episode title but it’d be tricky to drop it into casual everyday conversation unless, I guess, the conversation started with ‘What would be an overly-florid way of summarising Lorca’s command … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – The Butcher’s Knife Cares Not For The Lamb’s Cry (S1E04) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Context Is For Kings (S1E03) Review

*SPOILERS* Oh, “Star Trek: Discovery”, you’re a cunning one. Here we are on our third date and you know what that means. Do we have a future together or was it just a brief fling? No wonder you kept the best of your new goodies until this episode. Because make no mistake, “Context Is For … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Context Is For Kings (S1E03) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – Battle At The Binary Stars (S1E02) Review

*SPOILERS* Well, here we are after the first flush of rekindling my romance with Trek. Can “Star Trek: Discovery” manage the ‘tricky second date’? TL;DR version? Yes…and no. With Burnham’s mutiny halted, Georgiou confines her to the bridge and awaits Starfleet reinforcements. When her attempt to communicate peacefully with the Klingons results in the Klingons … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – Battle At The Binary Stars (S1E02) Review

Star Trek: Discovery – The Vulcan Hello (S1E01) Review

Things haven’t been great between me and “Star Trek” for some time. Oh sure, we still go through the motions, remembering birthdays, anniversaries all the while secretly reminiscing about the good old days when we were inseparable, glued to the screen as Kirk, Picard, Sisko and even Janeaway roamed the universe.  The magic died around … Continue reading Star Trek: Discovery – The Vulcan Hello (S1E01) Review

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) Review

“Kingsman: The Secret Service”, a gleefully disrespectful, violent and funny action reworking of “My Fair Lady” was an unexpected delight, right up until it ended on a decidedly bum note. Regrettably, in tuning up for the sequel, write Jane Goldman and director Matthew Vaughan have taken that same note as the opening for their latest … Continue reading Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) Review

Mindhorn (2017) Review

While Hollywood occupies itself with pillaging and rebooting the classic TV of the seventies, eighties and nineties, Julian Barrett (“The Mighty Boosh”) and Simon Farnaby (“Horrible Histories”, “Rogue One”) satirise both both originals and retreads by faithfully homaging a completely fictitious TV show: “Mindhorn”. Richard Thorncroft (Barrett) is a washed-up, has-been British TV actor. At … Continue reading Mindhorn (2017) Review

American Assassin (2017) Review

A victim of a terrorist attack after proposing to his girlfriend, Mitch Rapp (Dylan O’Brien) vows to avenge her death and sets out to track down the terrorists himself. His vendetta brings him to the attention of the CIA who induct him into the secret Orion black ops programme run by Stan Hurley (Michael Keaton) … Continue reading American Assassin (2017) Review

American Made (2017) Review

If you thought off-the-books, quasi-legal internecine government shenanigans were a practice brought to the White House by a tangerine reality TV buffoon, wait until you get a load of what was going on the last time a former celebrity became commander in chief. Telling the mostly true story of Barry Seal, a former TWA pilot … Continue reading American Made (2017) Review

The Dark Tower (2017) Review

I’m a pretty big Stephen King fan, although admittedly I’ve been a bit lax in keeping up with the prolific author’s output since around “Cell”. The first time I read “The Stand”, I did it in one sitting, forgoing sleep to finish it sometime in the early hours of Sunday morning (having started it on … Continue reading The Dark Tower (2017) Review

The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017) Review

Sometimes, all you need to do is get the right cast in front of the camera and let them do their thing. “The Hitman’s Bodyguard” is one of those times. With the trial of notorious war criminal Vladislav Dukhovich (Gary Oldman) desperate for witnesses, the authorities turn to notorious contract killer Darius Kincaid (Samuel L … Continue reading The Hitman’s Bodyguard (2017) Review

Iron Fist – Season 1 Review

Why can’t we have nice things? There was something almost inevitable about the pre-release critical and cultural bashing “Iron Fist” received. After a run of small screen Netflix success, I guess Marvel was due a backlash, and after constantly outgunning their rivals cinematically, the great and the good of Twitter and beyond, as well as … Continue reading Iron Fist – Season 1 Review

Luke Cage – Season 1 Review

After his star turn in “Jessica Jones”, I was looking forward to seeing Luke Cage’s solo adventures and Netflix’ latest MCU adventure doesn’t disappoint. Luke Cage (Mike Colter), an escaped convict who was left with superhuman strength and impenetrable skin after being experimented on in prison, is keeping a low profile in Harlem. But when … Continue reading Luke Cage – Season 1 Review

Daredevil – Season 2 Review

When I reviewed Season 1 of Daredevil, I dared to hope that the characters from Marvel’s Netflix MCU offshoot would make the leap to the big screen to join in the “Infinity Wars”. While it seems that’s increasingly unlikely, the disappointment is somewhat mitigated by the depth and breadth being brought to life in Marvel’s … Continue reading Daredevil – Season 2 Review

Colossal (2017) Review

*POTENTIAL SPOILERS* It’s been a long time since a movie surprised me as much as “Colossal” did. Won over by the quirky trailer and a crazy but fascinating premise, I was expecting a quirky exploration of the characters exploring their 'inner demons’ in a very external manner. Instead, Nacho Vigalondo’s dark sci-fi fantasy delivered something … Continue reading Colossal (2017) Review

Shin Godzilla (2017) Review

The first ever Japanese production to completely reboot the venerable monster’s movie series, “Shin Godzilla” is so called because it’s deliberately ambiguous (written in katakana instead of kanji) and can be interpreted as ‘new’, ‘god’ or ‘evolved’ and not, disappointingly, because the makers made the gutsy decision to stick with the ordinary Japanese citizen’s perspective … Continue reading Shin Godzilla (2017) Review

Atomic Blonde (2017) Review

Edgy, brutal and achingly stylish, Charlize Theron’s “Atomic Blonde” should be enough to scare the living daylights out of the Bond producers as they continue to pull together the follow-up to SPECTRE. In cold war 1989 Berlin, in the days leading up to the fall of the wall, a British agent is killed after retrieving … Continue reading Atomic Blonde (2017) Review

Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets (2017) Review

Luc Besson’s Space Oddity opens with a suitably inspirational opening as the story of Alpha (the eponymous City Of A Thousand Planets) is told through an evolutionary montage which nods to both Kubrick and Zemeckis. En route to Alpha to begin his next mission, Agent Valerian (Dane DeHaan) experiences a vision of the destruction of … Continue reading Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets (2017) Review

Dinoshark (2010) #SharkWeak Review

The film opens with a baby Dinoshark swimming away from a broken chunk of Arctic glacier that calved due to global warming. Three apparently uneventful years later, the Dinoshark is a ferocious predatory adult and starts killing tourists and locals off the shores of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Our hero, Trace, is the first to notice … Continue reading Dinoshark (2010) #SharkWeak Review

Sharktopus vs Whalewolf (2015) #SharkWeak Review

Unreleased and, so far, unbroadcast in the UK, "Sharktopus vs Whalewolf" sees the return of the sharp toothed tentacled menace, this time getting tangled up in genetic experimentation and voodoo as he does battle with the fearsome Whalewolf. Oh yeah, SPOILER ALERT: Sharktopus survives the events of “Sharktopus vs Pteracuda”. Shark Weak veteran Casper Van Dien … Continue reading Sharktopus vs Whalewolf (2015) #SharkWeak Review

Shark Attack (1999) #SharkWeak Review

If you’re worried that we’ve moved beyond the era of movie star led shark shenanigans, never fear: “Shark Attack” (kudos on the effort in titling this one, guys) brings us none other than Casper Van Dien and Ernie Hudson. Yes, the stars of “Starship Troopers”, “Ghostbusters” and “Congo” are giving up bugs and spooks and … Continue reading Shark Attack (1999) #SharkWeak Review

Planet Of The Sharks (2016) #SharkWeak Review

“Planet Of The Sharks” is the selachian sequel to “Waterworld” that nobody needed or even asked for. This is as high concept as SyFy movies come and, surprisingly, it’s actually pretty good fun. In the future, climate change has completely melted the polar ice caps and the entire world is under water. Humanity survives in … Continue reading Planet Of The Sharks (2016) #SharkWeak Review

Bait (2013) #SharkWeak Review

Well, this is unexpected. Often found lurking in bargain bins or the same ‘you may like’ suggestions as “Sharknado” and “Sharktopus”, “Bait” is actually a pretty decent film. The opening scenes feature a beach that actually looks like a beach (and not a scrubby waterfront). There’s actual cinematography and decent acting. I’m all in on … Continue reading Bait (2013) #SharkWeak Review

Roboshark (2015) #SharkWeak Review

“Roboshark” is everything you expect it to be. Everything. An alien vessel approaches Earth, launching probes to study the planet but when one of the probes lands in the ocean and is swallowed by a shark, it promptly becomes Roboshark! It’s basically "Bananaman" but with sharks and robots. The special effects are very cartoony but … Continue reading Roboshark (2015) #SharkWeak Review

Avalanche Sharks (2014) #SharkWeak Review

“Avalanche Sharks” offers us a grab bag of plot elements as native American supernatural snow shark spirits come back to haunt the residents and visitors of a ski resort. The film does actually provide an avalanche but it’s not really that integral to the plot. Originally planned as a sequel to “Sand Sharks”, it’s another … Continue reading Avalanche Sharks (2014) #SharkWeak Review

Jurassic Shark (2011) #SharkWeak Review

Another shark movie, another Spielberg pun and it turns out that I didn’t judge “Raiders Of The Lost Shark” harshly enough, because one of its writers should have known better given they directed this errant nonsense some three years earlier. Welcome…to “Jurassic Shark”. When an oil company unwittingly unleashes a prehistoric shark from its icy … Continue reading Jurassic Shark (2011) #SharkWeak Review