Surely they can’t think the Butler did it? Angel Has Fallen (2019)

As the third movie in the franchise, there was a specific burden on “Angel Has Fallen” to whit it’s a franchise tiebreaker. Mike Banning’s strike rate was balanced on a knife-edge: on one side, the solidly entertaining “Olympus Has Fallen”. On the other, the egregious shit show that is “London Has Fallen”. Good news, then,…

Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000 (2001) Dractober Review

A reimagining before reimaginings were ‘cool’, “Dracula 2000” – released a mere nine days before the end of the year 2000 in America and therefore in 2001 everywhere else brings the myth of Dracula into the modern millennial age, without a smashed avocado or deconstructed cold-brew oat-milk latte in sight. When a group of thieves…

Hunter Killer (2018) Review

At last, a movie for modern day America: one where the people colluding with the Russian president are the good guys! When an American submarine, shadowing a Russian sub witness their target suffer an explosion and sink, they are themselves torpedoed by an unknown assailant before they can report home. The USS Arkansas, with newly…

Geostorm (2017) Review

Imagine if you took the MacGuffin from “Highlander 2: The Quickening” and gave it to the Kansas State Board of Education to reframe it using their expertise in science before summarising it in crayon on a children’s menu placemat and you’ll be pretty close to how I imagine the pitch meeting for “Geostorm” went. That…

Gods Of Egypt (2016) Review

Beset by controversy, “Gods Of Egypt” finally arrives in the UK, bringing Harrod’s Egyptian Escalator to gloriously over-the-top bombastic life. In a mythical ancient Egypt where gods and men live side by side, the vengeful God Of The Desert, Set (Gerard Butler), seizes the throne for himself, blinding his nephew Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and casting…