Behind every terrible shark movie, there is a great shark movie being ruthlessly strip-mined. With “Frenzy” (or “Surrounded” – neither of which adequately describe this cinematic cloud of squaline egesta) that film is “The Shallows”. When a group of ‘extreme adventure travel’ vloggers are stranded by the most unconvincing CGI plane crash you’ll ever have ..
A movie so non-union equivalent it could have been directed by Senor Spielbergo himself, “Shark In Venice” dives deep into classic Spielbergian action adventure (in ambition if not quite execution) and boasts a cast led by undeniable Hollywood A-list-adjacent talent. When his father disappears while diving in the city of Venice, David ([Stephen] Baldwin) travels ..
I had such high hopes for “Zombeavers”. Okay, maybe high isn’t the right word. Moderate hopes? Well, in any event I guess I was hoping for a goofy, gruesome and funny schlockfest befitting its kooky central concept. The fact that it was from the producers of “American Pie”, “Cabin Fever” and “The Ring” even gave ..
Over a quarter of a century before SyFy transformed high concept into low art, prolific Hollywood director was churning out such mash-ups as “Billy The Kid vs Frankenstein’s Daughter” and “Billy The Kid vs Dracula”. In fact, those two would turn out to be the final feature films he directed, capping off a career which ..
Starring Atreyu himself, Noah Hathaway, “Troll” is perhaps less a straight horror movie than it is a dark fantasy. If there’s such a thing as adorable terror, “Troll” manages to strike that weird balance. When a wicked troll king in search of a magical ring that will enable him to become human takes over a ..
Retitled “Schlong Story” for the UK (like that’s an improvement), not even its zany premise and a new title is enough to save this miscast, misogynist misfire. Rich Johnson (Cam Gigandet), a serial womaniser just can’t help ruining one relationship after another. One day he glibly wishes his dick would stop getting him into trouble, ..
Slashing its way onto Netflix this Friday 13th, McG’s “The Babysitter” is a Hallowe’en “Home Alone” delight. When his parents leave for a weekend getaway, 12-year-old Cole (Judah Lewis) doesn’t really mind that he’s the only kid in his class who still has a Babysitter. And, to be fair, who would if their babysitter was ..
Imbued with special powers by a toxic waste spill, mild-mannered ocean dweller Shark Kent dedicates himself to using his newfound abilities to fight for truth, justice and…nope. As fun as that movie would be, “Super Shark” is just another killer shark, bikinis and bites B-movie. It does, at least, open excitingly in media res with ..
There’s a real shock right at the start of Universal’s “The Invisible Man” as it proudly proclaims its membership of the NRA. Thankfully, it’s a reference to President Franklin D Roosevelt’s National Recovery Administration of 1933 and not the hyper-politicised mass murder apologists of today. Good job too, because “The Invisible Man” needs no help ..
Much as Ian Fleming did with “Dr. No”, Roald Dhal dismissed the film version of his novel “The Witches” as ‘utterly appalling’ and much like Fleming was, he’s was being far too harsh. When Luke’s parents are killed in a car accident, his Norwegian grandmother Helga (Mai Zetterling) accompanies him back to England, regaling him ..
Halloween Kills (2021) clumsily slaughters any lingering enthusiasm for this storied slasher franchise. One of the things I liked most about 2018’s HALLOWEEN was the satisfying, definitive sense of closure it seemed to give the characters and story, earning its desire to excise all previous sequels and take a direct line from Carpenter’s seminal 1979 ..
What to do you get if you cross “Ghostbusters” with “Men In Black” and add just a dash of “Ghost”? Well, you get the unholy mishmash of a movie that is “R.I.P.D.”. When crooked cop Nick Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) is double-crossed and shot by his partner (Kevin Bacon) after they steal some gold discovered on ..
There may be more of gravy than of grave about the hauntings according to Dickens but this adaptation is more concerned with drinking the grimdark Kool-Aid rather than the meat of this story. Marley and the ghosts continue to conspire to punish and persecute Scrooge in order to drive him to repentance so that Marley ..
The thing I love about sharksploitation movies is they’re generally fun. Fun is a big part of the appeal, even when – or maybe especially when – they’re bad. “The Reef” is not a bad movie, but it’s also definitely not a fun movie. When a group of friends find themselves stranded on a capsized ..
Approaching this, I expected an uncomfortable relic, a tastless punchline to a joke that’s long since worn out its welcome, so it came as a pleasant surprise that, despite its Blaxploitation anachronisms, it’s actually a pretty solid vampire flick in its own right. In 1780, a massively racist Dracula welcomes an African prince and his ..
Hello cupcakes, long time no speak – sorry about that! Let me break the silence by helping you see the wood for the trees when it comes to spooky mystery “The Forest”… The talented Natalie Dormer – who has been busy of late in “The Hunger Games” as well as TV’s “Games of Thrones” and ..
Picking up not just where the first movie left off but actually before the first movie started, A QUIET PLACE PART II quickly and efficiently sets the scene for the drama to come. It’s good to see Krasinski back in these early scenes, underlining just how reassuring a presence he was in the first film ..
When down-on-his-luck cubicle drone Evan starts to suspect his new boss is a vampire, even his best friend Tim doesn’t believe him. But as their colleagues get paler and keener to work the night shift, it’s clear the company is no longer demanding blood, sweat and tears. The first one will do just fine. This ..
Fun is also in short supply in “Shark Night 3D”, a cynical and insufferable shark movie which somehow managed to get itself a theatrical release despite it being really, really awful. Sara (Sara Paxton) and her friends set out to spend a fun-filled weekend at her lake house on the shores of Louisiana’s Lake Pontchartrain. ..
“The Mummy” is the first of Universal’s monster movies to be based on an original idea instead of being adapted directly from an existing work. What it lacks in pedigree, it makes up for in classy production values, attention to detail and continuing the series’ surprising subtextual depth. Where “Dracula” was all about sex and ..
Available right now on Netflix, “Once Bitten” is a decidedly anaemic sex comedy that’s been consigned to the crypt of forgotten Eighties comedies. But is it time for it to rise from the tomb once more? The Countess (Lauren Hutton) must feed on the blood of a young male virgin three times before Halloween each ..
Sometime in the future, the world has yet to recover from the last mega shark attack. A voiceover tells us that the near total halt of global shipping plus a general avoidance of the coast and water by the population of the world has had a devastating economic impact. We’re told this over footage of ..
Some feature films run out of ideas and potential long before they run out of time. Some short films manage to deliver a perfectly formed story in their fleeting time on screen. Then there are shorts like DEAD AIR which really only serve to whet the appetite and leave you hungry for a full-length feature, ..
A family-friendly horror movie seems like an oxymoron, but it’s exactly what 2006’s “Monster House” is. It has all the hallmarks and ingredients you’d expect from a really good haunted house movie, it’s structured exactly the way a ‘real’ horror movie would be, except you can watch it with your kids. When DJ, his best ..
An often tense and claustrophobically clever thriller, a little more humility would have done “Don’t Breathe” the world of good. When a gang of three opportunistic burglars get a tip-off about an easy mark, it seems like their ship has come in. One easy job and they can escape their dead-end Detroit lives forever. After ..
Previously, on “Mega Shark vs…”, our fishy anti-hero and his reptilian rival were poached to death by an underwater volcano, and it would appear that was indeed that. But fear not, a drought in the Mediterranean has prompted an entrepreneur to tow an iceberg to the afflicted area but – wouldn’t you know it – ..
Twenty years before “Black Panther”, Marvel partnered with New Line to release a black-led superhero movie which would see them help kick-start the current superhero boom as well as changing the course of their movie adaptations to that point. Born as his mother was dying from a vampire attack, Blade (Wesley Snipes) possesses all of ..
A landmark of cinema, a touchstone of German expressionism and one of the oldest surviving horror movies ever made, F W Murnau’s “Nosferatu” may not terrify as it once must have done but it still mesmerises thanks to Murnau’s stunning use of light and shade and Max Schreck’s instantly iconic Count Orlok. When mysterious Transylvanian ..
