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There’s no business like snow business. Avalanche Sharks (2014) #SharkWeak🦈 Review

“Avalanche Sharks” offers us a grab bag of plot elements as native American supernatural snow shark spirits come back to haunt the residents and visitors of a ski resort. The film does actually provide an avalanche but it’s not really that integral to the plot.

Originally planned as a sequel to “Sand Sharks”, it’s another link in the chain of taking the word shark and placing a random word in front of it (or, in the case of “Sharknado”, after it) but beyond a cast member or two, it actually has zero links to that movie.

Ultimately it’s an excuse for people to get eaten by CGI sharks in a snowy setting which, against all logic, still includes a bikini modelling competition. It’s almost like an old fashioned ski school sex comedy, just without either of those important ingredients (sex or comedy). Despite the unsuccessful effort put in to explain the McGuffin of the curse which has roused these phantasmagorical shark ghosts (repeatedly, to diminishing returns each time), less imagination has been put into making the kills interesting or fun. In fact, there’s a disappointing lack of exploiting the barmy premise’s potential at all.

The CGI is generally disappointing and inconsistent, there are a number of non-shark related subplots that add nothing and go nowhere and a disturbing amount of time is spent by characters talking at each other with little benefit to any of the storylines as if, were you at a ski resort where guests and locals alike were being devoured by phantom sharks, there’d be anything else you’d be talking about. There are some unintentional laughs provided by some of the ideas the characters come up with to avoid being eaten but in the end, things are resolved in a really unsatisfying tourist ex machina way. “Avalanche Sharks” is a high concept but low achievement, making things worse by not having the wit or wisdom to follow through on its potential. Its only redeeming feature is that the cinematography is actually quite good for a film like this. It’s a pretty film to watch even though it’s a chore to sit through.

2/10