Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (2019) is a bland, timid entry suitable perhaps for patients recovering from surgery.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Review

Knowing very little of the original property, I didn’t know what to expect going in to “Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark”. What I got was a competently made and good looking anthology film where the framing narrative – an interesting idea in itself – is constantly interrupted by the need to service fans … Continue reading Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (2019) is a bland, timid entry suitable perhaps for patients recovering from surgery.

Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000 (2001) Dractober Review

A reimagining before reimaginings were ‘cool’, “Dracula 2000” – released a mere nine days before the end of the year 2000 in America and therefore in 2001 everywhere else brings the myth of Dracula into the modern millennial age, without a smashed avocado or deconstructed cold-brew oat-milk latte in sight. When a group of thieves … Continue reading Wes Craven Presents: Dracula 2000 (2001) Dractober Review

A Quiet Place (2018) Review

Silence has never been so loud as it is in John Krasinski’s nerve-shredding horror debut, “A Quiet Place”. In a post-apocalyptic world overrun by monstrous predators who hunt by sound, Lee and Evelyn Abbott (real life husband and wife John Krasinski and Emily Blunt) eke out a silent existence with their three children, every moment … Continue reading A Quiet Place (2018) Review

The Snowman (2017) Review

With apologies to Robert Lopez, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, and Kristen Bell... Do you want to see “The Snowman”? It’s not really all that good, It’s got Fassbender And Ferguson But neither’s in the nude... They adapted Nesbø’s novel And now we've got This dreary murder myst’ry Do you want to see “The Snowman”? You might not … Continue reading The Snowman (2017) Review

Logan (2017) Review

Much has been made of “Logan” being a hard-R superhero movie and it’s certainly in a hurry to prove its adult credentials, opening with a sequence which is almost custom designed to make a certain class of comic fans jizz their pants. There’s even an unnecessary shot of breasts within the first fifteen minutes. For … Continue reading Logan (2017) Review

Underworld: Evolution (2006) Review

Ol' blue filter's back! That’s right, we’re back running with the night as we pick up with Selene (Kate Beckinsale), Michael (Scott Speedman) and all our other toothsome chums as we plunge back into the ongoing war between the Vampires and the Lycans. Picking up directly where “Underworld” left off, Death Dealer Selene and vampire/ … Continue reading Underworld: Evolution (2006) Review

The Shallows (2016) Review

A minimalist horror thriller which squanders its potential by opting for cliché over creativity, “The Shallows” has some genuine thrills to offer before things go off the deep end. Mourning the recent loss of her mother and seeking some direction, Nancy (Blake Lively) searches out a secret, hidden beach once visited by her mother before … Continue reading The Shallows (2016) Review

Gods Of Egypt (2016) Review

Beset by controversy, “Gods Of Egypt” finally arrives in the UK, bringing Harrod’s Egyptian Escalator to gloriously over-the-top bombastic life. In a mythical ancient Egypt where gods and men live side by side, the vengeful God Of The Desert, Set (Gerard Butler), seizes the throne for himself, blinding his nephew Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and casting … Continue reading Gods Of Egypt (2016) Review

No Escape (2015) Review

‘Ello cupcakes. As you know I usually review horror films for my mate the Craggus, so this is a bit of a change for me. Having said that, this movie epitomizes why I generally stick to traditional horror films: real life horror is so much more difficult to stomach. Centred on the Dwyer family, the … Continue reading No Escape (2015) Review

World War Z (2013) Review

Okay, first things first: I've never been a huge zombie fan. I watched the first season of "The Walking Dead" but got bored a couple of episodes into season 2 and left it there. But where "The Walking Dead" tells the story of a small group of people against the (largely implied) backdrop of a … Continue reading World War Z (2013) Review