The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time (2018) #SharkWeak2 Review

So it’s come to this: The Last Sharknado. Can I get that in writing? Me and the Sharknado films have had quite the trajectory. At first I was like: ‘this is a joke’. Then I was like, ‘No, seriously, is this a joke?’ And then I was like ‘okay, that was actually pretty funny’ followed…

House Shark (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

Once in a while, you come across a film which completely upends any assumptions or expectations you have. As I crawl wearily to the end of this far too long stretch of bad shark movies for #SharkWeak2, “House Shark” has done just that. It may be a cheap, nonsensical under-funded Indiegogo project but it’s also…

Empire Of The Sharks (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

“Empire Of The Sharks” scores an early win with a mention of ‘trained ninja sharks’, a formidable weapon on a post-apocalyptic, flooded ecosystem. A biosphere covered entirely in water. An oceanic globe. An aquatic planet. Hmm. If only there was an easy way of saying it… On a future earth where 98% of the surface…

5-Headed Shark Attack (2017) #SharkWeak2 Review

The latest entry in the polycephalic Carcharodon carry-on opens with a decidedly mono-mouthed shark swimming through the ocean. *rings trade descriptions* Oh wait, it’s a fake-out. It’s actually just a regular great white; a snack for the real monster… *starts to put phone down* …which has four heads??? *snatches up phone again* Once again, the…

Shark Exorcist (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

This weird, excruciatingly badly made movie opens on a nun walking through a graveyard while a newscast voiceover reports a local nun accused of murdering and torturing thirteen local boys and girls. It’s one of a number of things the movie talks about but never shows us. But given the quality of what it does…

Ice Sharks (2016) #SharkWeak2 Review

When an arctic research station finds itself under attack from aggressive sharks and the break up of the ice shelf its built on, the crew must struggle against the odds to survive long enough to be rescued. There’s a lot that’s confused about this Asylum production and yet its one of few bad shark movies…