The Core (2003) Review

If “Battleship” is a dumb remake of “Independence Day” (itself a dumb remake of “War Of The Worlds”) then “The Core” is the dumbest possible reimagining of Jules Verne’s “Journey To The Centre Of The Earth”, combining ludicrously inaccurate science with terrible characters and stupefying dialogue (“Hack The Planet!”) and yet, it’s a film I’ve…

Show Dogs (2018) Review

The littlest Craggling has something of a fascination for talking dogs, as the many hours I’ve had to sit through interminable ‘Disney Buddies’ movies can attest to, so its little surprise that when the trailer for “Show Dogs” started appearing, my fate was sealed. In order to bust a notorious animal smuggling ring, FBI agent…

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Rejected multiple times for military service during World War II, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top-secret programme aimed at creating the ultimate soldier. When his qualities put him at the head of the pack, he undergoes an experimental procedure which gives him superhuman strength and endurance, but the experiment is interrupted by agents of HYDRA….

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Review

Have you checked your kitchen recently? Chances are the sink might be missing; stolen by Michael Bay to throw into his latest robots-in-disguise extravaganza “Transformers: The Last Knight”. It’s no secret that Paramount Pictures have assembled a writer’s room to spin their Hasbro franchise into an expansive shared universe but “The Last Knight” suggests they…

Beauty And The Beast (2017) Review

Did you ever watch Disney’s 1991 animated classic “Beauty And The Beast” and think, ‘wow, that script was really missing something’? The original, animated, Best Picture Oscar-nominated “Beauty And The Beast” had a running time of 84 minutes. This new live-action adaptation clocks in at 129 minutes and adds little but padding with the extra…

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (2015) Review

Weighed down by its own unbridled portentousness, the final chapter of “The Hunger Games” saga grinds into cinemas, bleaker and more brutal than anything that’s come before. Unfortunately, it also brings with it the narrative sluggishness which has plagued the franchise and its utter reliance on its leading lady almost brings the story to breaking…