The Core (2003) Review

If “Battleship” is a dumb remake of “Independence Day” (itself a dumb remake of “War Of The Worlds”) then “The Core” is the dumbest possible reimagining of Jules Verne's “Journey To The Centre Of The Earth”, combining ludicrously inaccurate science with terrible characters and stupefying dialogue (“Hack The Planet!”) and yet, it’s a film I’ve … Continue reading The Core (2003) Review

Show Dogs (2018) Review

The littlest Craggling has something of a fascination for talking dogs, as the many hours I’ve had to sit through interminable ‘Disney Buddies’ movies can attest to, so its little surprise that when the trailer for “Show Dogs” started appearing, my fate was sealed. In order to bust a notorious animal smuggling ring, FBI agent … Continue reading Show Dogs (2018) Review

Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Rejected multiple times for military service during World War II, Steve Rogers volunteers for a top-secret programme aimed at creating the ultimate soldier. When his qualities put him at the head of the pack, he undergoes an experimental procedure which gives him superhuman strength and endurance, but the experiment is interrupted by agents of HYDRA. … Continue reading Craggus’ Countdown To Infinity: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Review

Have you checked your kitchen recently? Chances are the sink might be missing; stolen by Michael Bay to throw into his latest robots-in-disguise extravaganza “Transformers: The Last Knight”. It's no secret that Paramount Pictures have assembled a writer’s room to spin their Hasbro franchise into an expansive shared universe but “The Last Knight” suggests they … Continue reading Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) Review

Beauty And The Beast (2017) Review

Did you ever watch Disney's 1991 animated classic "Beauty And The Beast" and think, 'wow, that script was really missing something'? The original, animated, Best Picture Oscar-nominated “Beauty And The Beast” had a running time of 84 minutes. This new live-action adaptation clocks in at 129 minutes and adds little but padding with the extra … Continue reading Beauty And The Beast (2017) Review

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (2015) Review

Weighed down by its own unbridled portentousness, the final chapter of “The Hunger Games” saga grinds into cinemas, bleaker and more brutal than anything that’s come before. Unfortunately, it also brings with it the narrative sluggishness which has plagued the franchise and its utter reliance on its leading lady almost brings the story to breaking … Continue reading The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 (2015) Review

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (2014) Review

I’m not a fan of the growing trend for artificially prolonging a franchise by splitting the last instalment into two parts. There are reasons why trilogies evolved as a dominant storytelling structure rather than tetralogies, even though tetralogy sounds a lot cooler. The “Harry Potter” franchise just about got away with it (thanks to the source … Continue reading The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 (2014) Review

Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014) Review

In tribute to Michael Bay, this review is bloated, overlong and hopelessly self-indulgent, taking far too long to get to the point which is to review “Transformers: Age Of Extinction”. But let’s get one thing straight: I don’t love to hate the Michael Bay “Transformers” films. I hate to hate them. Seriously: I want to … Continue reading Transformers: Age Of Extinction (2014) Review

Muppets Most Wanted (2014) Review

You always know what to expect when a new Muppet movie comes around: there'll be spectacle, there'll be fantasy, there'll be derring do and stuff like you would never see. There'll be heroes bold, there'll be comedy, and a lot of fuss, that ends for us real happily. Yes, a movie – starring everybody and… … Continue reading Muppets Most Wanted (2014) Review

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) Review

I have to admit, I've not read any of  Suzanne Collins' 'Hunger Games' novels. I meant to get around to it before I went to see the films but I ended up catching “The Hunger Games” on DVD at home before I’d opened one of the books. From the first film, I couldn’t really see what … Continue reading The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) Review

Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (2013) Review

"Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters" is the sequel to 2010's modestly successful and reasonably entertaining "Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief". Unfortunately, the wordiness of the title isn't the only thing that's been scaled back since the last time we hung out with Percy & Friends. "Sea Of Monsters" is a cheap and … Continue reading Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters (2013) Review