Surely they can’t think the Butler did it? Angel Has Fallen (2019)

As the third movie in the franchise, there was a specific burden on “Angel Has Fallen” to whit it’s a franchise tiebreaker. Mike Banning’s strike rate was balanced on a knife-edge: on one side, the solidly entertaining “Olympus Has Fallen”. On the other, the egregious shit show that is “London Has Fallen”. Good news, then, … Continue reading Surely they can’t think the Butler did it? Angel Has Fallen (2019)

Occurrence at Mills Creek (2019) Short Film Review

Occurrence At Mills Creek Short Film Review

When 15-year-old Cassandra (Alexa Mechling) awakens to find herself on display in a casket under the vigil of her elder sister Clara (Ava Psoras) in their home. As a weak Cassandra tries to communicate her desperate attempts to be seen and heard are perceived as terrifying supernatural occurrences by her sister, forcing her to consider … Continue reading Occurrence at Mills Creek (2019) Short Film Review

Luc Besson’s lacklustre spy thriller Anna (2019) offers little more than a vanilla Villanelle knockoff

Anna Review

Although it opens like “America’s Next Top Model: The Movie”, Luc Besson’s latest action-fest plays out more like a poor carbon copy of last year’s “Red Sparrow”. It’s certainly more fun than “Red Sparrow”, but that’s not a particularly high bar to clear. Anna (Sasha Luss) is a KGB honey trap agent working in Paris … Continue reading Luc Besson’s lacklustre spy thriller Anna (2019) offers little more than a vanilla Villanelle knockoff

Jaws 3-D (1983) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

Jaws 3-D Review

It’s clear from the moment the opening credits start that something has gone very wrong with the “Jaws” franchise. Everything instantly looks cheaper as the new production team bring in a tackier, naffer aesthetic to the whole set-up. Director Joe Alves is certainly no Steven Spielberg and he’s not even a Jeannot Swarzc but then … Continue reading Jaws 3-D (1983) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

Shark Lake (2015) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

Far from the high concept carcharodon carry-on of the likes of “6-Headed Shark Attack” or “Sharkenstein”, “Shark Lake” sets out to position itself as a gritty and grounded shark thriller. A gritty and ground shark thriller which begins with Clint Gray (Dolph Lundgren), a rare animal smuggler, going on the run with a bull shark … Continue reading Shark Lake (2015) #SharkWeak3🦈 Review

Ma (2019) doesn’t need to spike your drink to put you to sleep.

Ma Horror Review

The most horrifying thing about this lukewarm all-filler, no-killer thriller is how much on-screen talent is wasted in telling its flaccid, predictable and profoundly stupid story. When Maggie (Diana Silvers) is moved back to her mum’s hometown, she’s quick to make new friends and starts hanging out with them outside the local liquor store, hoping … Continue reading Ma (2019) doesn’t need to spike your drink to put you to sleep.

Greta (2019) is a dark urban feminist fairy tale masquerading as a B-movie potboiler.

Greta Movie Review

An utterly implausible B-movie thriller transformed into an effective thriller by the power of its cast, “Greta” just wants to be liked and will go to any lengths to do it. When Frances (Chloë Grace Moretz) finds an abandoned handbag on the subway, she resolves to return it to its owner, Greta Hideg (Isabelle Huppert) … Continue reading Greta (2019) is a dark urban feminist fairy tale masquerading as a B-movie potboiler.

If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change. Start with the man in the mirror. Us (2019) Review

Us Movie Review

Creepy, disturbing and deliciously, irresistibly open to multiple interpretations, Jordan Peele’s follow up to “Get Out” brings us another mischievously deep dive into the shameful psyche of America with a psychological sci-fi thriller of identity politics through the looking glass. As a young child, Adelaide Wilson (Lupita Nyong'o) wandered away from her parents on the … Continue reading If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change. Start with the man in the mirror. Us (2019) Review

Cold Pursuit (2019) isn’t worth following

Cold Pursuit Review

Hardly the frozen “Taken” we were promised by the marketing, this remake of the director’s own 2014 film "Kraftidioten" has moments of sublime black humour but is too disjointed, derivative and haphazard to do justice to its cast or premise. Hard-working snowplough driver Nels Coxman (Neeson) is a pillar of the community of Rocky Mountain … Continue reading Cold Pursuit (2019) isn’t worth following

The law may be an ass, but The Mule (2019) is a real donkey.

It’s someone disingenuous for something this uninspired to proclaim it's ‘inspired by a true story’ but that doesn’t seem to discourage notorious empty chair haranguer Clint Eastwood from making a film for reactionary old men who like to yell at clouds. It’s a wannabe “Sicario – The Greatest Generation”, or the demographic antithesis of “Black … Continue reading The law may be an ass, but The Mule (2019) is a real donkey.

Glass (2019) sets out to shatter the superhero paradigm.

*SPOILERS* Closer in tone and intent to “Unbreakable” than its immediate predecessor “Split”, “Glass” sees filmmaker M Night Shyamalan returning to the world of comic book super heroics, not to homage or reimagine them, but to deconstruct them -  especially their latest cinematic incarnations. With The Beast/ The Horde/ Kevin Wendell Crumb (McAvoy) still on … Continue reading Glass (2019) sets out to shatter the superhero paradigm.

The Girl In The Spider’s Web (2018) Review

From the Bond-esque opening credits, it’s clear this soft reboot of the Millennium series is aiming for a more action-packed and adventurous take on the adventures of Lisbeth Salander than its beautiful but glacial predecessor. Contracted to steal the unstealable from the American Government, Lisbeth Salander (Claire Foy) finds herself caught up in an international … Continue reading The Girl In The Spider’s Web (2018) Review

Halloween (2018) Review

Seeing as I first watched and reviewed the original 1978 “Halloween” for last year’s #MonthOfSpooks, it makes sense that I’d pick up this one for this year’s, especially as I still haven’t got around to seeing any of the other “Halloween” movies so this franchise timeline – the fifth so far – is the only … Continue reading Halloween (2018) Review

Bad Times At The El Royale (2018) Review

“Bad Times At The El Royale” sees “Cabin In The Woods” writer/ director Drew Goddard indulging his inner Tarantino as he sets up this lurid, pulpy neo-noir tale of deceit, desperation and death in a faded motel, still trading on its glamorous past and novelty location. In 1959, a man arrives at the El Royale … Continue reading Bad Times At The El Royale (2018) Review

The Satanic Rites Of Dracula (1973) Dractober Review

We start out where “Dracula A.D. 1972” ended: with terrible music. This time, though, it actually sort of fits because “The Satanic Rites Of Dracula” actually is a cheesy seventies spy thriller of sorts. When a secret agent barely escapes from a secretive country house where he witnesses a satanic ritual in progress, he uses … Continue reading The Satanic Rites Of Dracula (1973) Dractober Review

A Simple Favour (2018) Review

From the opening strains of Jean Paul Keller’s “Ca S'est Arrange”, you can practically feel Paul Feig donning on a black turtleneck and slipping into auteurship with a mischievous sense of insouciance. He’s in playful mood indeed as he indulges his inner Hitchcock even as he can’t quite resist giving in to his quirky comedic … Continue reading A Simple Favour (2018) Review

Mile 22 (2018) Review

“Mile 22” is a movie every bit as toxically moronic, tone-deaf and self-flagellating as a daily schedule which starts the day at 2:30am for literally no good reason. It’s a hateful, ignorant and needlessly, excessively profane geopolitical cartoon scrawled in crayon on the bathroom stall of cinema; a Neanderthal cave painting, rendered in excrement. When … Continue reading Mile 22 (2018) Review

The Equalizer 2 (2018) Review

I’m enough of a fan of the original TV show “The Equalizer” to wish Antoine Fuqua had found a way to incorporate Stewart Copeland’s superb synth-driven theme tune into this modern reinterpretation. But my favourite part of the TV series was always the helping out of ‘the little guy’ rather than the bigger, over-arching spycraft … Continue reading The Equalizer 2 (2018) Review

Psycho Shark (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Subtitles? Oh cool – this is a Japanese monster shark movie. We’ve seen what they make of giant atomic dinosaur lizards, so I can’t wait to see what they make of a giant killer shark. Except we’ll just have to – wait, that is - because most of the brief 69 minute running time is … Continue reading Psycho Shark (2009) #SharkWeak2 Review

Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018) Review

The unstoppable Tom Cruise, Movie StarTM is back in 2018’s best action movie bar none. “Fallout” completes a “Fast & Furious”-style transformation of the franchise and leaves its famously diminutive leading man head and shoulders above the rest of the action competition. When a mission to recover three stolen uranium cores is interrupted by the … Continue reading Mission: Impossible – Fallout (2018) Review

Hotel Artemis (2018) Review

I approached “Hotel Artemis” with an uneasy trepidation, born out of learning that it ran for a trim (these days) 96 minutes. My reasoning was simple: usually a high-concept star-powered action thriller that runs around the hour and a half mark is a sign of something going wrong and a desperate attempt to save the … Continue reading Hotel Artemis (2018) Review

The First Purge (2018) Review

What better viewing choice on the 4th of July than the latest instalment in the satirical horror series, one that goes back to the beginning and commemorates the very start of the decline of the land of the so-called free? “The First Purge” sets out to explain just how a society could come to adopt … Continue reading The First Purge (2018) Review

Sicario 2: Soldado (2018) Review

It’s impossible to view “Sicario 2: Soldado” in isolation from the current real-world events along America’s southern border. Indeed, the film finds itself cruelly separated from the comfort of director Denis Villeneuve and cinematographer Roger Deakins' reassuring presence. Also discarded is Emily Blunt’s FBI agent Kate Macer and with her any shred of conscience “Sicario” … Continue reading Sicario 2: Soldado (2018) Review

Happy! Season One Review

Former Detective Nick Sax is an alcoholic loner who relies on narcotics to fill his life with meaning and interest, in turn relying on his skills as a gun for hire to provide for his habits. However, after having a near death experience he is visited by Happy, a small blue flying unicorn which only … Continue reading Happy! Season One Review

Cliffhanger (1993) 25th Anniversary Review

Celebrating its UK release’s 25th Anniversary, “Cliffhanger” saw Sylvester Stallone return to the genre which had nurtured him after the critical and artistic losing streak which started with “Rocky V” and hit rock bottom with “Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot”. Teaming up with action director for hire Renny Harlin, Stallone delivered a stripped-back high … Continue reading Cliffhanger (1993) 25th Anniversary Review

Hereditary (2018) Review

After the expertly curated, nerve-shredding trailer, I went into “Hereditary” with a great deal of trepidation (I’m a little bit of a horror wuss) but of all the myriad emotional states I was nervously anticipating, I never expected to be bored. Following the death of her estranged mother, Annie (Toni Collette) is forced to confront … Continue reading Hereditary (2018) Review

Safe – Series Review

Tom Delaney is a successful British surgeon who was recently widowed, leaving himself to bring up his two daughters who are becoming increasingly distanced since the tragic loss of their Mother. When Tom’s eldest daughter Jenny goes missing, whilst assisting Police in their search he discovers an intricate and tragic secret that may hold the … Continue reading Safe – Series Review

Dark Forest (2015) Review

It’s not often that Sweetie G and I disagree strongly about a movie, except of course for “World War Z” but we don’t have time to get in that here. Suffice to say, when we were asked to take a look at independent Canadian horror who could have guessed it would bear comparison to that … Continue reading Dark Forest (2015) Review

Dark Disney: Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) Review

Suitably Autumnal, with Halloween overtones, “Something Wicked This Way Comes” sets out to create and then subvert the Norman Rockwell archetypal small American town. The story cuts right to the heart of the fragility of the American dream and the constant paranoia that somehow, their self-evident utopian land of the free and home of the … Continue reading Dark Disney: Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983) Review

The Hurricane Heist (2018) Review

Sky Movies make their second foray into the burgeoning original movie market with “The Hurricane Heist”, an action thriller that has more producers and executive producers than it does cast members, always a sure sign of quality. Following the death of their father during Hurricane Andrew in 1992, Will (Toby Kebbell) and Breeze (Ryan Kwanten) … Continue reading The Hurricane Heist (2018) Review

A Quiet Place (2018) Review

Silence has never been so loud as it is in John Krasinski’s nerve-shredding horror debut, “A Quiet Place”. In a post-apocalyptic world overrun by monstrous predators who hunt by sound, Lee and Evelyn Abbott (real life husband and wife John Krasinski and Emily Blunt) eke out a silent existence with their three children, every moment … Continue reading A Quiet Place (2018) Review

It Comes at Night Review

Great write up of the psychological horror/ thriller “It Comes At Night” by 5minutemovieguy.

5 MINUTE MOVIE GUY

It Comes at Night is a bleak and mysterious psychological thriller that tells the story of a small family fighting against a faceless virus that has seemingly decimated most of the population. Joel Edgerton plays the father of the family, Paul, who takes every possible precaution to protect his wife and son. None of them know what’s happened, nor what’s causing the sickness, but they all agree that they must never go out at night. In their fear of the unknown, and their desperation to survive, the true horror of the film reveals itself. Written and directed by Trey Edward Shults, It Comes at Night is bound to leave audiences divided. With its misleading title and its refusal to provide answers, many will no doubt find this to be a fruitless and frustrating film. However, if you’re willing to look beyond the film’s ambiguity, as I did, you may find…

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Altered Carbon Season One Review

Craggus had planned for this to be my first review, but I wanted to get into the reviewing groove before tackling this. It should be apparent from what follows but if it isn’t, I want to make one thing clear: the concept of “Altered Carbon”, along with its execution, requires a considerable amount of talent … Continue reading Altered Carbon Season One Review

You Were Never Really Here (2018) Review

Provocative, dark, disturbing and brutally violent, “You Were Never Really Here” envelops you in the dissociated world of Joe, a traumatized veteran who tracks down missing children for a living. When a routine job spirals out of control, Joe finds himself caught up in a conspiracy of violence and murder, spinning out of control and … Continue reading You Were Never Really Here (2018) Review

Red Sparrow (2018) Review

Disney and Marvel can at least rest easy: “Red Sparrow” certainly isn’t the “Black Widow” solo movie by another name its marketing might have initially suggested. Instead, it’s something of a convoluted pseudo- John le Carré caper which leans heavily on sex, nudity and violence to disguise its flimsy characters and overcomplicated espionage shell game. … Continue reading Red Sparrow (2018) Review

Requiem Series Review

When the BBC announced its New Year’s line-up of “McMafia”, “Hard Sun”, “Collateral” and “Requiem” there was a great deal of hype and hope for their upcoming drama slate. Unfortunately, all of them have been a complete waste of licence payer’s money and clear evidence that the broadcaster needs to take a long look at … Continue reading Requiem Series Review

Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) Review

Starting with a train heist which plays out like Disney sinking all their money into a live-action remake of “Toy Story 3”, the third and final instalment of “The Maze Runner” trilogy starts with enough energy and inventiveness that it almost makes you forget it’s been three years since “The Scorch Trials”, thanks to an … Continue reading Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) Review

The Shape Of Water (2018) Review

Guillermo Del Toro brings his trademark dark fairytale aesthetic to bear on this dreamy, beautifully realised tale, a tale as old as time, a song as old as rhyme: beauty and the moist. Elisa (Sally Hawkins), a mute cleaning lady, found as an infant with mysterious scars on her neck works as part of the … Continue reading The Shape Of Water (2018) Review

Fifty Shades Freed (2018) Review

You like it rough? Then this is the movie for you. The acting’s pretty rough and the script’s sadistically punishing too. With the everyday, relatable trials and tribulations of courtship such as romantic misunderstandings, contractual disputes over sexual obligations and helicopter crashes behind them, Anna (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Dornan) settle contentedly into married … Continue reading Fifty Shades Freed (2018) Review

The Commuter (2018) Review

Mrs Craggus has a recurring complaint about Liam Neeson, specifically that in many (she says all) of his roles, he just happens to be the exactly skilled person the plot needs. When his daughter is kidnapped, he has that ‘special set of skills’, when his commercial flight is threatened by terrorists, it turns out he’s … Continue reading The Commuter (2018) Review

All The Money In The World (2018) Review

It's been almost impossible to avoid the publicity surrounding Ridley Scott's polished-to-a-dull-sheen biographical crime drama "All The Money In The World" thanks to the scandal which engulfed its would-be star after allegations of his sexual predation came to light and Scott's swift decision to excise the actor from the movie and reshoot all of his … Continue reading All The Money In The World (2018) Review

Bright (2017) Review

There are times when you just need to take a step back and acknowledge that a paragon has been reached and there's absolutely nothing you can contribute, no new perspective or trenchant insight you can add to what's already been done that would move it even a nanometer closer to perfection. So it is with … Continue reading Bright (2017) Review

Better Watch Out (2017) Review

Beaten to the Christmas punch by Netflix’ “The Babysitter”, “Better Watch Out” is the latest home inversion thriller to try to shake up the genre, a sort of festive slasher snow globe of adolescent toxic masculinity and entitlement. In the snowy suburbs, a babysitter finds herself having to defend her twelve-year-old charge from a home … Continue reading Better Watch Out (2017) Review

The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (2017) Review

Colin Farrell faces Rosemary’s Sophie’s Choice in “The Killing Of A Sacred Deer”, the latest movie from cinematic provoc-auteur Yorgos Lanthimos. Blending classic Greek tragedy, existential horror, psychological drama and medical thriller, it’s a challengingly twisted mystery, an Art-“House, M.D.” Dr Steven Murphy (Colin Farrell), a renowned cardiovascular surgeon lives a seemingly perfect life with … Continue reading The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (2017) Review

The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad! (1988) Now And Then (Then And Now) Blogathon Review

Concluding my contribution to Realweegiemidget Reviews & Thoughts All Sorts ‘Now & Then’ Blogathon, we leap forward 32 years from the 23rd century sci-fi kitsch of “Forbidden Planet” to the mean streets of 1980s Los Angeles in hard-boiled detective spoof “The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad!”. Los Angeles Police Detective Frank Drebin … Continue reading The Naked Gun: From The Files Of Police Squad! (1988) Now And Then (Then And Now) Blogathon Review

Happy Death Day (2017) puts a new spin on the old saying ‘many happy returns!’

For my final #MonthOfSpooks review of the year, I went to see one of the few horror movies which have been released in cinemas for Halloween this year, meaning I started with 1931’s “Dracula” and finished with 2017’s “Happy Death Day”. I ended up watching this film an hour or so after watching the latest episode … Continue reading Happy Death Day (2017) puts a new spin on the old saying ‘many happy returns!’

Geostorm (2017) Review

Imagine if you took the MacGuffin from “Highlander 2: The Quickening” and gave it to the Kansas State Board of Education to reframe it using their expertise in science before summarising it in crayon on a children’s menu placemat and you’ll be pretty close to how I imagine the pitch meeting for “Geostorm” went. That … Continue reading Geostorm (2017) Review

The Snowman (2017) Review

With apologies to Robert Lopez, Kristen Anderson-Lopez, and Kristen Bell... Do you want to see “The Snowman”? It’s not really all that good, It’s got Fassbender And Ferguson But neither’s in the nude... They adapted Nesbø’s novel And now we've got This dreary murder myst’ry Do you want to see “The Snowman”? You might not … Continue reading The Snowman (2017) Review

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) Review

With the exception of perhaps “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, has there ever been a (belated) sequel which arrived under so much pressure of expectation as “Blade Runner 2049”? Picking up the baton from Ridley Scott’s lionised 1982 sci-fi noir, visionary director Denis Villeneuve leaps us further into the chillingly realistic dystopian future. Following the … Continue reading Blade Runner 2049 (2017) Review

Flatliners (1990) Review

Nineties with a capital 9, stripped of the rose-coloured shroud of nostalgia, Joel Schumacher’s morbid thriller emphasises the ‘flat’ in “Flatliners”. Inspired by the near-death experiences of patients, a  group of brilliant, ambitious medical students decide to probe beyond the veil to establish empirically what happens when you die. But as each of them becomes … Continue reading Flatliners (1990) Review