The law may be an ass, but The Mule (2019) is a real donkey.

It’s someone disingenuous for something this uninspired to proclaim it’s ‘inspired by a true story’ but that doesn’t seem to discourage notorious empty chair haranguer Clint Eastwood from making a film for reactionary old men who like to yell at clouds. It’s a wannabe “Sicario – The Greatest Generation”, or the demographic antithesis of “Black…

Fifty Shades Freed (2018) Review

You like it rough? Then this is the movie for you. The acting’s pretty rough and the script’s sadistically punishing too. With the everyday, relatable trials and tribulations of courtship such as romantic misunderstandings, contractual disputes over sexual obligations and helicopter crashes behind them, Anna (Dakota Johnson) and Christian (Jamie Dornan) settle contentedly into married…

Fifty Shades Darker (2017) Review

Soulless, mechanical and delivered with a sense of resigned obligation second only to the “Divergent” franchise, “Fifty Shades Darker” skulks into cinemas with all the romance and fantasy of a discarded Mills & Boon paperback fished out of a sewer. Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) is living her life when Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) returns to…

Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015) Review

From the very first frame, “Fifty Shades Of Grey” positively drips with tension. Unfortunately, it’s not the sexual kind. There’s a palpable sense of nervousness and awkwardness in the opening scenes that has little to do with impossibly naïve and twee ingénue Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) or uncomfortably self-conscious billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan –…