This is one nurse that’ll raise your temperature.
There are bad movies, there are guilty pleasures, and then there’s Nurse 3D—a film so deliriously unhinged, you’re not sure if you’ve watched a psycho-thriller or an R-rated perfume ad gone horribly wrong. Directed by Douglas Aarniokoski and starring Paz de la Huerta in a performance that oscillates between deadpan and dead-eyed, Nurse 3D is an unapologetic sleaze-fest wrapped in a flimsy medical thriller, held together by a sheer commitment to its own trashy aesthetic. It’s a movie that knows exactly what it is: a 90-minute excuse to parade blood, boobs, and bad decisions in gloriously unnecessary 3D.
The plot, if you can be bothered to look past the frequent “distractions,” is simple. Abby Russell (Paz de la Huerta) is a nurse by day and a sociopathic killer by night, offing unfaithful men because, apparently, Fatal Attraction needed an even more deranged cousin. Her carefully cultivated life of vigilante justice gets thrown into chaos when she becomes obsessed with newbie nurse Danni (Katrina Bowden), who quickly finds herself in Abby’s crosshairs for reasons that don’t make a ton of sense but sure do set up some wildly over-the-top death scenes. Before long, the body count rises, Abby’s uniform gets skimpier, and the film descends into a pulpy mess of seduction and slaughter.
Paz de la Huerta is undoubtedly the driving force here, delivering a performance that can only be described as hypnotically bizarre. Every line she utters sounds like it’s been run through a heavy filter of tranquilizers, giving Abby an eerie detachment from reality—kind of like watching a horror villain sleepwalk through her own murder spree. It’s hard to say whether this is an intentional choice or just De la Huerta playing by her own rules, but either way, it’s impossible to look away. She moves through the film like a vampiric siren, and while it’s never quite clear what her endgame is, she does everything with such a laissez-faire attitude that you almost root for her. Almost.
But let’s be honest—Nurse 3D isn’t about complex characters or psychological nuance. It’s here for the visuals, and it doesn’t pretend otherwise. Shot in the kind of glossy, hyper-stylised fashion that makes everything look like a softcore music video from 2003, the film basks in its own sleaze. The 3D is hilariously gratuitous, with everything from blood splatter to stiletto heels flying at the screen in the least necessary ways possible. And yet, there’s a certain charm to how unapologetically camp it all is. The film knows it’s ridiculous and fully embraces the chaos, throwing subtlety out the window in favour of shock value and skin.
That said, the film’s relentless fixation on sex and gore can’t quite disguise how thin everything else is. The script lurches from scene to scene with little regard for logic or motivation, as if the writers decided plot was a secondary concern after deciding how many creative ways Abby could murder people. It’s hard to tell if Nurse 3D is trying to be a feminist revenge fantasy or a softcore exploitation flick—or, God help us, both. The result is a mishmash of awkward tonal shifts, making it hard to tell when you’re supposed to take anything seriously. The answer, of course, is probably never.
The supporting cast does its best to keep things together, but no one is really given much to work with. Katrina Bowden, as the supposed “straight man” to Abby’s psychotic antics, does a decent job of looking perpetually confused and alarmed, which is probably what any of us would do if we were being stalked by a murderous, lingerie-clad nurse. Meanwhile, poor Corbin Bleu pops up occasionally to remind us that this movie exists in a vaguely medical setting, but even his efforts are drowned out by the sheer volume of crazy the film throws at you.
If there’s one thing Nurse 3D does well, it’s not taking itself seriously. The film knows it’s absurd, from the ridiculous 3D effects to the campy one-liners (“I’m going to drain you” has never sounded more unintentionally hilarious). It revels in its own trashiness, leaving you wondering how this ever got greenlit by anyone who wasn’t in the middle of a full-blown midlife crisis.
By the time the film reaches its bonkers finale—which involves enough slow-motion bloodletting to make Tarantino proud—you’ll either be fully on board or completely checked out. There’s no middle ground here. Nurse 3D isn’t for everyone, but for those willing to embrace its lurid, nonsensical charms, it’s a fever dream of bad taste that might just leave you laughing in disbelief.
In the end, Nurse 3D is a blood-soaked, campy mess—and it knows it. It’s sleazy, schlocky, and shameless, reveling in its own absurdity with an almost admirable level of commitment. If you’re in the mood for some mindless, over-the-top exploitation horror, this is the medicine you’ve been prescribed. Just don’t expect it to cure anything.
